There has been a lot of speculation about why I haven't been wearing my wedding rings in my outfit photos since August. While I don't believe it's appropriate to get into details (especially since the blog doesn't really concern my private life), we have decided to issue a statement (J.Lo and Marc Anthony style!) to quiet any rumors;
"After five happy years of knowing each other, we have decided to amicably split. We remain close friends to this day, and are excited to see what the future holds for each of us! Thank you for your support and concern, and for respecting our privacy during this transition."
- J. & M.
If you choose to comment or talk about this situation publicly, please remember that this is a situation that does not only involve me, but another person and their entire family and we all need to be super-respectful of their privacy, as well as mine. Also feel free to email me privately if that seems more appropriate (jseverydayfashion@gmail.com). As a Christian who never in a million years thought I would ever be the "d word," this is not my favorite life situation I've ever been in. But going through this process over the past 8 months has taught me more about life, judging others, judging yourself and what it truly means to follow Jesus than I could ever express. I also look back on my 5 years with M. as a very happy time, and wouldn't trade a minute of it. Thanks for all your support over the past year and a half of blogging, and now let's raise a glass and cheers to lives full of happiness and love for all of us!
J -- congratulations on handling a very difficult situation with maturity and grace. You two are a testament to your relationship and all that it represented -- love. I know this wasn't an easy decision (to announce this) but I hope that it brings you some peace to now move on to the next chapter.
Sorry to hear this, J. I'm sure you and M are going through a tough time right now and I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you! Hang in there!
Hi J - Longtime reader, first time commenter. I have to admit, I hadn't even noticed -- I'm usually focused on your great outfits.
However, your "statement" is really respectful and heartfelt and lovely. I just wanted to reach out to offer you a virtual hug and encouragement in this next stage of your life.
My parents just announced about a month ago that they will be getting a divorce after 28 years of marriage. It certainly does take a lot of courage to talk about it publicly. I have a hard time talking about my parents divorce and I'm not even the one getting a divorce. Its a difficult time, but I hope you will both be able to find happiness, peace and love. You deserve it.
You are a strong woman and a great role model. It's not easy making public such a private situation but I'm sure you've now helped other woman in similar situations feel confident and at ease with their decisions. I agree with Mom Jovi Blog's comments. You handled it with complete maturity and grace.
J, I hadn't noticed either...I'm sooo focused on your awesome styling and gorgeous jewelry (necklaces, bracelets etc) I'm so sorry to hear about this, but the way I look at things is, things happen for a reason! God has a plan and we are all just along for the ride! Thank you for continuing to blog during this difficult time! I would miss you sooo much if you didn't! Good luck with everything! You are a true inspiration!!!
I'm stunned... Haven't even noticed whether you wear your w. ring or not... The only thing I wanted to ask you was why you were moving, but never even occured to me that this could be the reason... (I didn't think only you-singular were moving...) I don't know you in real life (though I wish I do) but since I follow your blog everyday, feel like I know you much more than I do... So I'm truly sad as if it happened to my close friend. I cannot say anything smarter than that I sincerely wish you all the best in life, be strong and optimistic, as you said - enjoy life! :)) Hard times will pass...
J, I have been following your blog for quite some time and I too didn't notice that you were not wearing your rings. It isn't anyone's business but yours to divulge any private information, but now that you decided to do so, please know that I am sending you lots of hugs and I commend you on how you are handling the situation. Lots of love for you!
Kudos on handling a difficult situation with grace on the blog and, I expect, beyond. Wishing you the best through what's got to be a tough time for you both. <3
Stay strong! It's cliche, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And better a life. And more prepared to tackle any of life's challenges.
Just goes to show that you can never tell what someone is dealing with or carrying with them, which is why we should always treat friends, acquaintances, and strangers with kindness.
This is never an easy situation to be in, ever. I know I'm not speaking out of turn when I say we all love you and are here for you 100%! This is one of those situations that will make you stronger than you realize. Good luck!
This was very brave of you to share something this personal to the blogging community. I will be praying for you and have a lot of respect for the way you are handling it. I'm a big fan of your blog and know that 2012 is going to be an even better year for you professionally and personally.
J, I am so sorry to hear that. I actually went through that when I was younger and married for 2 years. It taught me a LOT of life lessons about life and judging people. You two are the only two that know what happened and it doesn't matter to everyone else. You don't owe anyone an explanation. I pray that you can both move on and make great choices in the next stage of life. God is good!
J- I am a long time reader and first time commenter as well but I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and my prayers during this difficult time! I agree with "Mom Jovi Blog" on how you handled this sensitive and very private situation.
If it means anything I didn't notice either because I'm always focused on your incredible outfits! Assuming that it was "virtual" friends speculating...it stinks that they would even feel like they had the right to ask you such personal questions.
Sorry to hear that.. Though we ve never met n I read a few blogs almost daily, I ve always felt a kind of warmth towards you. I know this must be very hard, take care n hugs!
As someone who often reads (and refers!) people to your blog, but rarely comments, (blog reader fail) I have to say-props to you for handling what I'm sure is a difficult and emotional time in your life with nothing but class.
I'm going to email you personally, but I just have to say that video moves me to tears every time I see it. The passion, the talent, the emotion - it's so beautiful! One of my dearest lifelong friends sadly took his life in August and his family asked me to sing How Great Thou Art. This video was my inspiration.
Same here! This video knocks my socks off every single time, and I've watched it at least 20 times (today). I'm really sorry about your friend, what a beautiful tribute for him!
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through this tough time and moving further away from someone who I'm sure is a dear man. I'm praying for God's nearness to you during this time and for His peace. The best peace you can have comes from doing what is right. Love and hugs!
This made me LOL because i was thinking how I could have talked about my faith in regular blog posts... it really doesn't fit, haha. But in situations like these, it's impossible not to talk about it. :-)
Yep. This whole situation has really opened my eyes to how judgmental I've been in my life! There is really only one judge and we should leave each other's actions to Him to deal with. :-)
Hi J. I can't even imagine what you're going through and hope everything works out for both of you. I don't think it's inappropriate on YOUR SIDE to go into details - it is YOUR blog, and you should feel free to post whatever you want (you have been sharing the pictures from your private life), I'm sure your readers would be honored. I do think it's very inappropriate of readers to be asking why you haven't been wearing your ring, because that usually happens for one reason and one reason only. Wish you all the best.
J, I am a long time reader (almost since you started) and I applaud you for being honest with your reader instead of trying to hide behind it. While this is a complete personal matter, it's hardly private. You have always included Matt in your posts, mentioned him in something that was going on that day/event, and even on FB in many pictures of your life. You recently went back and took all of his pictures and anything that has him in your writing off of your blog and FB, your fans really has to wonder why. We may not have the right to pry into the reasons of your divorce but an explanation was better than random comments asking why you no longer wearing your rings and you giving a vague answer.
Back in August, you asked for guest bloggers because you were going on vacation and your "husband" would kill you if you blogged while there. (You also took that off recently.) Which only leads a few of those random comments to wonder "Didn't she say she was going on vacation with her husband?" Why be so vague and hypocritical about it?
My husband and I split amicability this year, as well, and it was the best decision we've ever made. Good for you for deciding that the time was right to move on.
Of course it was a choice. Just like you had a choice to write a mean, nasty comment here, and you absolutely made that choice, didn't you? (pretty ironic if you ask me) Sin is sin. My sin (divorce) is the same in God's eyes as yours (being a nasty Internet troll). I'm not here to judge you though. I just hope you can figure out someday what Jesus was actually trying to say. (When he is referring to "Pharisees", pay close attention.)
I don't understand why you are complaining - you wanted an explanation, now you have one. I couldn't talk about it at the time. Now I am. What am I missing here??
I don't comment very much, but I just want you to know that I'm praying for you. You are so strong to have continued to post beautiful outfits during what I know was a difficult time. Thank you for making my mornings bright every day! The future will be amazing for you I know!
Terri, I feel strongly that I've always been on the path of the happiest possible me! :-) I believe happiness is a choice. Circumstances (like whether I'm married, or the d word) are just circumstances.
Thanks for opening your hearts and sharing this. I can't imagine it isn't easy.
And how dare these people judge you. I pray you both find happiness and peace and love. Because of our Faith in God and His Grace bestowed upon us, our sins are washed away. Don't let them bring you down sweet friend.
J, my dad is a pastor and a man of God who has also gone through a divorce. While it may not be the Biblical teaching that we learned, this is the situation that you are in. Through what you are going through, what you will learn, and where you are heading you can praise God for. Keep your head up, "guest" can't even stand behind their own name, so I wouldn't worry too much about them.
Thank you Layne. I know they won't get it, but I just had to try to explain it. I know those bracelets in the '90s were silly, but if we really ask WWJD (what would Jesus do?), he would not be judging me right now. In fact, He is scooping me up in His arms right now and loving on me extra today because I need it. And we should do what He does for each other as much as possible. Thanks for being his arms today! :-)
I have to admit I never noticed either...as I was too focused on your great outfits. In the big scheme of things...you need to do what makes you happy. I'm sure you have an amazing support group as you clearly have an amazing following. Thanks for inspiring me and keep smiling!
I was in the same position in 2005--though not a public figure. It hurts, no matter how amicable. I'm remarried now with two small sons that are the light of my world and I can tell you when my little 2 1/2 year old crawls up on my lap, puts his hands on the sides of my face, looks me in the eyes and says "I love you, mommy, SO MUCH!" I would go through the hurt again 10 more times to get to where I am now. God Bless you on this rough part of your journey.
Hi J. My heart just broke when I read this post. I'm thinking of you, wishing you the best as you go through such a difficult time. I am also divorced, something I vowed would never, ever happen to me. You just can't know what life is going to bring you; all you can do is use the experience to help you become a more loving, caring, forgiving individual.
Thank you Michelle. I wholeheartedly agree. The older I get, the more I recognize how little control we have over what happens in life sometimes and all we can do it get through it and hopefully become a stronger person. :-)
I'm so sorry to hear this, but as someone who has "been there" (I was also in my late 20s at the time), believe me that it does get easier. I found that the best recipe for moving forward with my life included lots of time with family and friends, as well as some alone time to reflect on the future.
J, you're a beautiful and strong woman with a ton of courage. Thank you for sharing something so personal. You don't owe an explanation to anyone, but your readers definitely appreciate knowing what's going on. You're going to come out of this better than ever. Keep posting fabulous outfits (or don't if it gets to be too much...we'll understand!) and enjoy everything you've been given. :)
I don't think it's any of your business. If you've been a reader since the beginning you know her blog is about fashion not her personal life. As a reader myself I didn't even notice she wasn't wearing her ring anymore and I def didn't go back and check her previous blogs to see if she had taken things off or not. I think you need to get a life.
Man, I'm finding this comment absolutely hypocritical, too. For a Christian to judge another Christian is just as much a sin. And what I've come to experience is that the ones that judge the most, especially out loud, are the ones that are usually hiding something they are ashamed of. J, you've announced this with such dignity and respect. It speaks words of your character. You'll have my support always.
Hi J, Someone recently sent this quote to me and it helped me "If things appear to be coming apart, maybe they're just rearranging themselves for a better fit" Best wishes to you!
Let me just say tell your naysayers, Judging Judys, etc. to shut it up. It's your life and frankly you did not owe anyone an answer. This is a fashion blog, and even if it wasn't, it's nobody's business but yours. I wish you well and a fantastic life. It is hard to go out on your own and I am sure that there are many women (me included) who are in similar situations and may not be strong enough or ready enough to move out of their marriage. Again, I wish you well and pray for whatever healing you may need.
To be honest I was so focused on your outfits I hadn't even noticed you weren't wearing your rings. Please remember "It is darkest before dawn." Let the anonymous trolls wallow in their hatred. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong.
i cannot imagine how you are feeling right now and knowing that you and m. were obviously dealing with this decision for a long time now makes my heart hurt for you and what you've been going through, but it also makes my heart fill with hope for you both. i hope this next year fills both of your lives with love, happiness, strength and the ability to move on and upward.
I'm really sad to read that someone will go out of their way to try and belittle you over a situation that was, by no means, an easy decision (i'm sure). and even more so, not stand behind their own name. As a recent fan of yours (2 months, LOVE your combos) i have come to love your blog and although we may not know each other personally, i am deeply sorry that you are going thru this difficult time. My heart and prayers go out to you and everyone involved. It takes a very strong woman to handle this situation with so much class!!!!
and to you 'Guest" - your judgement is not needed, that comes on Judgement Day, where you too will face the Lord.
My point was it was very obvious to someone who has been a long time follow. We all know you got divorced or at least separated. You tweet, blog, and FB enough for your personal life not to be as private as you believe. Your name is ALL over the internet. You try to hid your real name and yet reveal it elsewhere.
Her blog has a bit of her personal life. It used to include Matt in it all the time... from her wedding to their daily events. I only noticed because I wanted to show a friend her wedding dress in one of her albums and noticed that she had taken all of Matt's pics off.
Goodness! Some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Things happen, thats life. You obviously have more people standing behind you than you think. Your beliefs and blog are amazing, keep your head up and don't change a thing!
Yeah, I'm pretty sure it was obvious to my friends in real life too, but they gave me my space. I didn't want to talk about it yet, plain and simple, so they didn't ask. Would you really force your friends to talk about the horrible things they are going through on YOUR terms, and not when THEY are ready to talk about it? Wowzers.
I never said I was a Christian but for someone who say that are a Christian and is OK with divorce then I don't think that makes Christians very appealing.
Bravo! I must say, I have been reading for awhile and I didn't even realize that you were married/divorced, or going through anything. That is certainly a testament to the fact that you are keeping what should remain private, private. I think your message is one that is appropriate and classy. I hope you find peace with everything soon! xoxo
J- First off, you are amazing and fabulous! This post took a lot of strength and courage. You are in my thoughts and life is crazy, but it's life!
To anyone who has said anything negative...before you judge ANYONES elses life take a long look in the mirror. I believe people who can say anything judgmental to you is miserable in their own life and uses others to make themself feel better. Things happen, people change, life goes on. J, you owe no one an explanation and have to make yourself happy. Your faith will keep you strong and your strength will make you a better person.
wow, you must have a lot of time on your hands to be able to quote missing posts that specifically. do you live and die by this blog? i only wonder if you know your bible as intimately as you seem to know these posts on a fashion blog (which i love dearly, but certainly not dearly enough that i can reference and track her comings and goings throughout hundreds of posts....). j, live your life, be a good person, and find peace and happiness in any way you can. it's really the best any of us can do. and please, keep up your great blog! x
I think it takes a lot of maturity and two people who truly know themselves to make a decision like this.
I, too, am a Christian who never imagines herself being divorced--but after reading your post, I took a moment to reflect and think about how much I take my marriage for granted. It would be too easy to sit back and judge (for those that are), but it is easy to put anyone in any marriage and any situation in your shoes (however fabulous shoes they may be). I think you are doing what's right for you. It takes a lot of courage to admit that this is the best outcome.
Sending many positive thoughts and virtual hugs your way. I know this has to be far, far from easy and putting it on the internet definitely doesn't help. Your fans will remain your fans and the haters seem to hate no matter what. Stay strong and classy (I know you will!).
J , thank you for your honesty and grace in a difficult situation. I don' t know exactly what you are going though but I have buried many dreams and expectations for my life. I can only imagine it is more difficult when strangers feel the need to critize. I am a christian and my understanding is that God hates divorce because he loves us and knows how painful it is. My thoughts and prayers for you as you transistion.
I am a follower of yours on FB. When I pulled up the announcement post on my phone the context was too small for me to see. However, I just knew it was a baby announcement. To say I was shocked and sad to read this is an understatement. I'm so sorry you are going through this as I am sure it is very difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Also, reading this and the comments below have really opened my eyes to something. I will email you regarding that.
I have been reading almost since you started and I am so sorry to hear about the difficult time you are going through. You give so much to all your readers and I KNOW that great things are ahead for you, personally and professionally. Best wishes to you & M.
Also, I have never seen that video before and WOW. I just sat here bawling; it's so moving.
I'm embarrassed I haven't noticed the lack of rings, especially considering how much I adore you and your blog and look forward to it EVERY day! However, I'm very sorry to hear about what's going on and to hell with the losers who post nasty comments. You had to do what you had to do for reasons that none of us readers are privy to and it's none of their darn-tootin' beeswax. So stay strong, put one (manicured and well-dressed) foot in front of the other, dress up more on the days you feel worse and you will survive. You rock and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
J - she's not worth your effort to respond. It's your blog -- your rules. More power to you. I love your fashion advice and am a daily reader. Your personal life is just that, personal.
BTW, I'm wearing a brand new pair of red skinny jeans today because of YOU. I never would have bought these on my own had I not seen all of the awesome looks you featured on your blog with your red skinnies. So THANK YOU.
We all love you so much. Praying for you my dear! But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. God is watching over you!
I really do not understand any of your comments and questions. You clearly do NOT respect J or anything about her. Just because we read her blog does not give us the rights to her life. Just because she has a facebook account does not mean that her life is not still private. Just because her name is on the internet does not mean that she is obligated to share her entire life-- or that you "know" anything about her. She has the right to reveal what she wants to whom she wants. Your assumptions that you or anyone else are due some sort of explanation just because you think you "know" something about this young lady's personal life are ridiculous and immature. Congrats--you pressured her about something truly personal that should only have to be shared with loved ones and at a time when she was ready...she's lucky to have you as a "loyal" fan.
From one Christian to another, I am sorry you have had to go through this rough time. Jesus is the greatest thing that could ever happen to us. And He loves you more than words can say. Thanks for continuing to blog and be salt and light to this world. I look forward to all your future posts. Blessings... Hannah
I read this awesome article by Kristin Armstrong and the last paragraph made me think of you and I wanted to share.
"If you are struggling with someone else's words, remember that just as no one can steal your peace, no one has the power to define you. And you don't have to refute or respond or react- At. All. Their definition is just that, theirs. It has no impact whatsoever on who you are, or what you can do. Leave them to their bitterness". http://milemarkers.runnersworld.com/2011/12/moving-on.html
I am so sorry to hear your news. I think these kind of matters should be kept private online and in real life. No one has a right to root around in your personal business and you have kept your personal life fairly quiet as long as I've been reading.
Jenifer, how dare you call J a hypocrite. I think I've only ever commented maybe once or twice on this blog, but you have astounded me tonight with your asinine attacks. I recommend that, if you are affiliated with a religion, you do your OWN work as soon as possible. You seem to be missing the message.
J-hugs to you, love. Your fellow Christians and fans (most of us) are holding you in our hearts. Know that you are loved by those (and The One) that matters. Being remarried myself, I can attest to the fact that there is a new day ahead.
Wow, after reading this, it absolutely made me admire you even more! You're fabulous with, or without a man by your side and I’m so happy to be able to follow your life. Thank you for giving us a wonderful example of what it takes to be a STRONG woman. God bless you and may god bless the road ahead. Stay Fabulous :) Like always!
J, I'm so sorry to hear this. I applaud your strength and courage for making this announcement. You did it with such grace. I love your blog, and I will continue to love it. It was this time last year that I stumbled across your pictures on New York & Company's facebook page, and everyday I would look forward to what you were wearing. I also must thank you, because it was you who inspired me to step outside my comfort zone and start my own blog.
Trust in the Lord and keep praying, for He will see you through this tough time.
J, after over 100 comments (and EVERY other person's comments were positive and supportive of you except this one girl) it is obvious who has the issues. Keep your chin up an God bless you. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
Have you noticed that you are the only negative person posting? I think that says a lot about YOUR character. One of the wonderful things about bloging is being able to learn from one another and share ideas; one negative is people like yourself who choose to say nasty things about others. If you have a problem with J and the decisions she makes in HER own life then don't read HER blog.
God Bless you both. Everyone in life deserves to be happy. I am recently divorced after 23 years of marriage and it is painful and takes time. I am glad you could part as friends.
J, as a weekly visitor to your blog, I'll just share...each one prepares you for the next one and sometimes you have to get what your don't want to learn what you you do want. Keep your head up, girl!
On judgement day you will have to answer and I feel sorry for you.. I'm sure your a low life person and obviously trying to put your problems on J. Good that your showing all her fans your the ONLY negative one. Go away
I am so sorry to hear about your situation, but you the way in which you have handled it, with such grace, just shows what an amazing person you are. I love your blog, and I think you are just fabulous! xoxo
I've been a long time fan of you and your blog. This news comes as quite a shock. It's inexplicable because I don't know you personally and have never met you, but it felt like this happened to a close friend. You've been on my mind all evening. I can only imagine how much courage this post took - to open yourself to all the stupid, judgmental people around. You are a strong, confident and sensible woman, and I have no doubt you will come out of this experience stronger and braver. Don't let judgmental and critical people get to you - they obviously have nothing but negativity in their lives. You have the support of your family, your friends and your thousands of fans who love you so much. But most of all, you have yourself - your inner strength and faith that will guide you through this rough time.
I follow many bloggers but you are something else. You have the drive, the motivation, the passion and the focus to achieve whatever you want in life. One day you will be more successful than you have ever imagined :-)
You are beautiful, classy, and inspiring! Thank you for the post, and sharing your thoughts and lessons you have gained from your personal life situation.
Dear Jeanette, through your blog, I've grown to so appreciate your solid, yet wonderfully-creative, fashion advice; and also to really *care* about you, too, you know. Despite my being married-without-children for 37 years ............ but with my being 1,800 miles away from my Immediate Family ............ there are days in which my loneliness is almost unbearable, (particularly during Christmastime!!); and your blog is one of the things that I can ALWAYS count on to bring *Joy and Beauty* into my life. Although I'm not of Irish descent, I simply love Ireland; and this ............ along with a big (((*hug*)))!! ............ is My Wish For You:
A TRADITIONAL IRISH BLESSINGWarm be the love that surrounds you, Good be your friends, and true, Constant be hope and promise, Useful the work that you do --Close be your family around you, Good health be yours day by day, Long be the life that you're living, And full of much joy on the way!
Both my husband and I think you are a good, *good* person, Jeanette; and even though my husband's actually old enough to be your father, (haha!!), he still ............ (very kind and devoted man of character that he genuinely is) ............ a.l.s.o. ~ s.a.y.s. that you're "A Beautiful Woman, Inside-And-Out." (I do actually talk about your blog with my husband; so I just HAD to share that spontaneously sincere "guy thing" he expressed to me about you!!)
I can't believe people have been commenting about your lack of a wedding ring!!! That just blows my mind.
I know this can't be easy - but it's definitely an opportunity to find a new path in life and find happiness. My parents divorced after 28 years of marriage - and I have never been so happy for them. I DO believe in marriage and what it stands for, but I don't believe in staying in a relationship just for the sake of staying. Totally NOT worth it. Good luck -- you always have a friend here :)
I'm so sad to hear this and I will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I hadn't personally noticed the lack of wedding rings in your recent pictures; however, I am recently engaged, and thus wedding dress obsessed and I remember not too long ago I looked through your wedding dress album to see the different pictures you had posted of wedding dresses and I noticed that the pictures of you in your wedding dress were no longer there. At the time, I didn't think much of it. I thought maybe you decided you wanted to keep it private or something along those lines. Now it all makes sense. Anyway, as an engaged woman, this news does thoroughly upset me! Even though I've never met you, I almost started crying from reading this statement and I was hoping that it was all just a joke or that I was misreading it. I was raised Catholic so I understand your own issues that you are having with the "d" word but I also don't believe in living in a perpetual state of unhappiness. As long as you two believe it is the best decision, then I certainly wish you the best! (Although the hopeless romantic in me is hoping that you two crazy kids find a way to work things out! ;) )
Oh wow J, I am so sorry to hear this however I am happy for you in a sense because you are handling this situation so gracefully. I wish the best for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers, I hope that you find your true happiness because I believe that you truly deserve it.
I skimmed through the comments thread and I cannot believe that someone was so harsh to you and even brought faith into their arguments... Im very sorry that you had to deal with that - and even still you dealt with her with grace as well.Best of luck to you J, I am sure that this time in your life is difficult but you can certainly see how much we all love and support you and only wish the best for you! God bless dear, lots of love <3 Teresa
Sorry to hear about it J. I am already a fan of your style and confidence and now I am a fan again for being so brave. You are handling things just perfect. Those who love you would never ask for details or explanation. I am a Christian too and I know exactly what you mean. God bless and keep rocking as you always do.. Some times it is very necessary to let some things go.
J, I am praying for God to bring you peace at this time in your life. I have loved getting to know you over the past few months as a daily follower of your blog. Thanks so much for continuing to brighten our days with your posts! You are awesome- stay strong! Your followers love you!
Sending you a little love, prayer, and some warm thoughts today. This post took a lot of courage and compassion. You'll come out just fine on the other end of things and you will have learned some very valuable lessons along the way.
J, I can't even imagine how difficult this must be right now, but it seems you're in a better place now if you're strong enough to discuss it on your blog and deal with the nosy and negative people.
Your personal life is nobody's business but your own, I can't believe some people would have the nerve to ask you about your marriage when they don't even know you. Or even worse, people that judge your decision only because they think having access to the internet entitles them to do so.Just think about it this way, opinions are like a$$holes, everybody has one and thinks theirs don't stink.
Best wishes for the new year! and thanks again for get me started with wearing belts ;)
Just read all these comments, and the words of the great Dr. Seuss come to mind... Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!
I share the same faith as you and I do not believe that we are punished for our past mistakes. When we have asked for forgiveness, the mistakes are forgotten. I don't know you apart from what you have shared on your blog, but I know that you are a strong, independent and beautiful person.I hope that you realize your trials are not punishment. They are what make each of us who we are.
I didn't mean it in a negative way or to criticize. Sometimes I struggle with my own faith and I see you standing strong in yours. It's just nice to see and it's inspirational. That's all.
I'm so sorry to hear you have been going through all of this. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to post something so personal but you did it with such dignity and class. You should be proud of that. And I'm with the others....you look so stinkin stylish each day that I hadn't noticed the ring. So thankful for you and your blog!!!
Way to handle such a difficult situation with complete grace. As someone who has been there as well in my late 20's after 3 years of marriage, no one understands the situation but the couple directly involved and others shouldn't pass judgement on what the decision the two of you have made. Only you know what's best for you. Follow your heart and ignore the negativity.
J, I am an avid follower of your blog b/c I simply love your sense of fashion. I hardly ever post nor have I ever been married or divorced(epic fail in both blogging and relationships...haha), however; I felt moved to comment but could not find the words so I decided to post this:
One night I had a dream...I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, andAcross the sky flashed scenes from my life.For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.When the last scene of my life flashed before us,I looked back at the footprints in the sand.I noticed that many times along the path of my life,There was only one set of footprints.I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my lifeThis really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it."Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,You would walk with me all the way;But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,There is only one set of footprints.I don't understand why in times when Ineeded you the most, you should leave me.The Lord replied, "My precious, preciouschild. I love you, and I would never,never leave you during your times oftrial and suffering.When you saw only one set of footprints,It was then that I carried you."
At this point, I'm not saying anything that the 100+ before havent, but I'll add my two cents. You're handling this with such grace, J, it's absolutely amazing. I was raised as a Christian but still have trouble relying on my faith completely during adversity. Thanks so much for sharing such a tough experience, as well as what you've learned from it, and how it has strengthened your walk with the Lord. Who knew I (we!) could get so much from a fashion blog, right? Many blessings to you ma'am, as I know you have an abundance of them in store :)
J--I've been looking to your blog for fashion ideas for quite a while now. As a younger girl, I really look up to you, not just for your fashion sense, but also for your business savvy and your approachable, fun blogging style. I'm sorry you have had to deal with anyone giving you a hard time about this. I really appreciate your honesty and grace in handling the situation. Wishing you all the best in this tough time, and I'm looking forward to more great fashion posts in the future!
What a difficult time for you and your family. I'm sorry to hear this, but I know things will get better for you! In every situation, you only have two choices: you can be positive or you can be negative. You are clearly a positive person and are very much loved. Keep your head up :)
Dear J, I wish you strength and faith to go through this situation. And I like to thank you for your inspiring outfits. I look forward to see your colorful outfits on this cold and rainy days in Germany.
Hi J, just wanted to say how very sorry I am and my heart is with you during this difficult time. I actually never noticed you without your rings until this post - and then I looked back and noticed! I never believe divorce is right for my marriage either, but sometimes it is best for two people to separate in order to live their lives with fulfillment and happiness, and life is too short to live it otherwise. I wish you the best and know that any decision you feel was meant to be made, is then the right one. Good luck to the future for the both of you.
Since you're now in Orlando *btw super jealous love O-Town* maybe my fave quote from Walt Disney will be fitting "Keep Moving Forward" i think you're totally awesome & so sorry to hear of this happening but you handled it with grace & charm!! Best of wishes down the road!!!
Yes, divorce is choice. That's just what life is, just a series of choices and the paths we follow from those choices.Sometimes you have to make really difficult decisions because thats what life calls for. J's choice, while I'm sure extremely hard, will ultimately lead her to happiness and fulfillment. By no means is bring faith into this situational hypocritically. The great thing about faith and God is that they are always there for you no matter what the situation! Good luck during this hard time J, I know things will be looking up soon!
J, I just have to say that you never cease to amaze me, not only with your wonderful outfit posts, but with your grace and poise. I know that several people have already said this, but I also feel as though I know you personally, likely because of how truly personable you are. I want you to know that you have several thousands of fans who are true fans and support you. Please don't let the few "fans" who are negative bring you down. I know that you are a strong, classy woman and will come out of this extremely tough situation even stronger. You are truly an inspiration to so many people. You are in my prayers! Thank you SO much for everything you do and who you are J!
I am a Christian and married and from that premise I think people here should stop judging and start loving as Jesus told us. J, we cannot know what happened but God loves you and We love you. I am sure as you lean on God and follow His word...He will led you to make that right decision. I will be praying with you and I know you will be fine. Charlotte
I went through a divorce when I was 24 years old (I'm now 35 - wow time flies!). I went through a period of thinking that everyone was labeling me as "that divorced person." And maybe a lot of them were. But many of them weren't. I think I was my harshest critic - it took me a while to get over labeling myself as a divorced person. I struggled with that a lot. I was ashamed of it. But then I started realizing all the new possibilities I had in my life! And there were a lot of them! New relationships, the ability to move if I wanted to, anywhere, anytime. So, in saying all this, I'm just saying that it does get better. You will learn a lot about yourself. You will learn to depend on yourself. You will become more independent. It will make you the person you will be for the rest of your life. And that is a LOT of things to look forward to. :)
You apparently know very little if not ANYTHING of Christianity. The only judge is God. If Jesus was crucified for the forgiveness of our sins, then who in the world are YOU to judge? If he can forgive all of humanity and give his life up for all sinners, then who am I to judge? Who are YOU to judge? Are you implying that you're higher than Him and have the right to judge?
Did I say I was "OK with divorce"? No, I did not. Am I going to hold one thing over J's head? Am I going to stop turning to her page for fabulous finds? Am I going to think of her as less beautiful or less great-all-around? I'm sure as heck not! Why? Because I'm not The Judge. Because if He can forgive, I sure as heck can. You don't know A LOT about J, and nor do I. I'm sure you've been sitting in the room with her as she's cried over the fact that it's over (because you know, all brides dream of this day, right?). I'm sure you've been there to hear her speak words of what she's feeling. Right?
I doubt it.
So if you can honestly sit here and judge her for ONE thing you barely know about her (because you certainly don't know the details), then shame on you. You know nothing of faith if this is how you choose to live it.
Faithful and admiring reader, not a commenter. Just wanted to express sympathy and support. As a divorced Christian, I understand where you are at. Many blessings, and peace, to you. Maria
I.m a 33 year old Christian woman who has been married for 12 years, Two years ago my marriage started to fall apart and in june 2010 my husband left (we have 2 boys 8 and 3 years old) I was so DEPRESSED I literally wanted to die, I lived in sweats, stopped wearing make-up, and pretty much cried all day. One day I couldn`t sleep at 3 am in the morning 3 months after he left and I typed "Everyday Fashiion" on my pc, trying to get motivated to start wearing something nice again, Your blog popped on my screen, I started looking through your outfits,I saw a beautiful woman, all smiles looking great. I got up at 3 am went to my closet and started trying out clothes, puting together outfits inspired by you, You unknowingly snapped me out of my fashion depression. Thank you sooooooooo much. My family situation has not been resolved yet, but I look forward to seeing your face every morning and be inspired to wipe my tears and look beautiful.
Zaira, thank you so much for sharing your story with me!! I am beyond moved and honored that I could play a small role in your road to feeling better. I can totally relate to that depressed feeling (although, I think having two boys would make it much harder) and I'll say a little prayer for you and your situation tonight. In all honestly, having the blog and wanting to be strong for all of YOU lovely ladies and wanting to keep putting smiles on your faces has helped me tremendously in getting through this situation. I'm really thankful for you guys, so thank you again for sharing! :-)
ps. In case anyone is wondering about the "(Edited by a moderator)" thing under Jenifer's comment, all I did was remove M's name. Not sure how she knows his name (I've never revealed it here!!) but it totally goes against my plea for privacy, esp. for him. I didn't change anything else about the comment though! :-)
Just keep doing what you do..... you never know who you're blessing, inspiring and helping!!! I`m Mexican and all the way down here in Guadalajara you have really helped someone who may never meet you but always be grateful.
Hi J! I've been reading your blog for several months now and just saw this post. I had no idea and am quite impressed with your positive attitude and cheerful smile in what has to be an extremely difficult time. You are truly an inspiration to me you beautiful BEAUTIFUL girl!
Hey J, Obvi I'm late to this "party" but I just thought I would write something in support. I read your blog in large chunks(unfortunately, law school doesn't leave me with much time for social life- online or otherwise) but I can honestly say that I've read every post you've written. I had an amazing summer in Europe and visited most of the cities you visited in Aug so it was cool to read your take on them. Anyway, back to the point at hand, you are a fashionista and you don't owe us anything but awesome fashion advise for budget fashionistas. In the event that your advise is lacking in that department, we'll let you know. This post shocked me and made me sad because we are age mates and I've been married for 5 yrs so I felt some sort of kinship with you. People judged me when I got married because I was "so young".... It's not fair but that's what people do. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Don't worry about the crazy people who feel entitled to your personal life's details. I hope that 2012 brings you lots of love, happiness, adventures and great fashion inspiration to share with us.
PS: Your statement?... Sooo classy! Love it! You are truly a classy lady J!
so did you just rip those pages out of your bible? the ones where Jesus tells christians they are NOT to divorce? figured since they don't apply to you, obviously, you'd just rip them out so you don't have to read them. that is if you read your bible......which i'm assuming you do since you are a "christian". next time i suggest you don't announce that you are a "christian" and "learning what it truly means to follow Jesus" when you're doing exactly what he commanded those who follow him NOT to do. but way to ruin your witness.
Whoa there! 5 B.C. called and they want their Pharisee back. This actually makes me really sad how much you are missing the point. The best way to "ruin your witness" is trying to portray your own sinless image and judging everyone around you. Jesus said in John 8:7 "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” So please, by all means, pick up the first stone. Except you can't, because by leaving this comment, you were sinning. I truly hope you learn this lesson in life before you have to go through what I did to learn it!
This is what is wrong with our society.....Who are you to judge? Do you honestly believe you are a flawless Christian? Nope, you aren't. Maybe you need to pick the bible back up.
J- ignore these "Christians"...can't help but laugh.
LOL, OMG I totally thought this was aimed at me for a minute!! haha I definitely don't think I'm flawless, and I don't want anyone to think I'm judging Wabeccy. I'm saying we are all sinners, and for that reason let's not even go down that path of judging each other! :-) Thanks for commenting.
wow, that is really hateful. did you just ignore the part in the Bible where we are all sinners and Jesus is the only one fit to judge? why don't you practice YOUR witness. Anonymity allows you to post this, but if Christianity was all about judging others i'm sure we can comb through YOUR life and find plenty to be judgmental about.
Doesn't the bible say that God forgives us of our sins? I've NEVER met somebody who is perfect. You cannot tell me that you have never committed a sin. If you told me that, I'd know that you were lying, which is a sin in case you were wondering. I know a lot of people who are divorced, including both of my pastors. As a Christian myself, I am sure God would rather want us to be happy and divorced, than still married and miserable. J did this to better her life. I am sure she knows that God forgives her of her sins, just as he does for you. No matter how big of a sin you have committed, as long as you ask for forgiveness, you are forgiven.
@webeccy2848, first of all, did YOU read the passage in the Bible about judging others and casting the first stone. Last time i checked you don't know J or anything about her situation so calm down the condescending tone. Secondly, we all sin and make mistakes it what sets us apart from God and his perfection and our human weakness. As a christian myself and have divorce in the family i know how hard it is and noone wants to go through that especially being a christian, but you pick yourself up and move on with your life and walk with God and bask in his forgiveness! oh and p.s. way to ruin YOUR witness by being a typecast pharisee....
Dear Jkreffel, Thank you for posting this!! I got divorced a year ago when I was 24 and it has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. Like you said, I've struggled a lot with being "the divorced person" and I'm so hard on myself. But reading your post has made me realize that life gets so much better, and I"m slowly seeing that this was a tremendous learning experience. Again, thanks for sharing a piece of your story b/c for so long I felt I was the only person getting divorced at that age!!
Dear J: I'm obviously a new follower and I want to say thank for having the courage to share this with all of us. I too am a Christian and I divorced a year ago, and it was one of the darkest periods of my life. Let me just say that you are an inspiration, and a fabulous looking at that!! Thank you for showing us that life is beautiful, especially when you have the right pair of shoes :)
You do what you need to do for you life and don't ever worry about what other people have to say.
ReplyDeleteJ -- congratulations on handling a very difficult situation with maturity and grace. You two are a testament to your relationship and all that it represented -- love. I know this wasn't an easy decision (to announce this) but I hope that it brings you some peace to now move on to the next chapter.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear this, J. I'm sure you and M are going through a tough time right now and I just wanted to let you know that my thoughts are with you! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteLove and light!!!
ReplyDeleteHi J - Longtime reader, first time commenter. I have to admit, I hadn't even noticed -- I'm usually focused on your great outfits.
ReplyDeleteHowever, your "statement" is really respectful and heartfelt and lovely. I just wanted to reach out to offer you a virtual hug and encouragement in this next stage of your life.
I'm sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself and best of luck to you in the future!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't have said it better myself. We're all here for you, Jeanette. XOXO
ReplyDeleteMy parents just announced about a month ago that they will be getting a divorce after 28 years of marriage. It certainly does take a lot of courage to talk about it publicly. I have a hard time talking about my parents divorce and I'm not even the one getting a divorce. Its a difficult time, but I hope you will both be able to find happiness, peace and love. You deserve it.
ReplyDeleteYou are a strong woman and a great role model. It's not easy making public such a private situation but I'm sure you've now helped other woman in similar situations feel confident and at ease with their decisions. I agree with Mom Jovi Blog's comments. You handled it with complete maturity and grace.
ReplyDeleteJust wanted to say I'm sorry. And, sorry that you felt you had to give an explanation to anyone.
ReplyDeleteJ, I hadn't noticed either...I'm sooo focused on your awesome styling and gorgeous jewelry (necklaces, bracelets etc)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about this, but the way I look at things is, things happen for a reason! God has a plan and we are all just along for the ride!
Thank you for continuing to blog during this difficult time! I would miss you sooo much if you didn't!
Good luck with everything! You are a true inspiration!!!
It was time. :-) I wouldn't ever let anyone bully me into making a statement, but I just felt it was time.
ReplyDeleteRachelle, my parents did the same thing 5 years ago and I'm still dealing with it. Christmas is going to be tough this year. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteJ, you are handling this so well. I pray you can move on and have some closure in your life.
ReplyDeleteI'm stunned... Haven't even noticed whether you wear your w. ring or not... The only thing I wanted to ask you was why you were moving, but never even occured to me that this could be the reason... (I didn't think only you-singular were moving...) I don't know you in real life (though I wish I do) but since I follow your blog everyday, feel like I know you much more than I do... So I'm truly sad as if it happened to my close friend. I cannot say anything smarter than that I sincerely wish you all the best in life, be strong and optimistic, as you said - enjoy life! :)) Hard times will pass...
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear this :( you're in my thoughts and prayers.
ReplyDeleteJ, I have been following your blog for quite some time and I too didn't notice that you were not wearing your rings. It isn't anyone's business but yours to divulge any private information, but now that you decided to do so, please know that I am sending you lots of hugs and I commend you on how you are handling the situation. Lots of love for you!
ReplyDeleteKudos on handling a difficult situation with grace on the blog and, I expect, beyond. Wishing you the best through what's got to be a tough time for you both. <3
ReplyDeleteStay strong! It's cliche, but what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And better a life. And more prepared to tackle any of life's challenges.
ReplyDeleteJust goes to show that you can never tell what someone is dealing with or carrying with them, which is why we should always treat friends, acquaintances, and strangers with kindness.
This is never an easy situation to be in, ever. I know I'm not speaking out of turn when I say we all love you and are here for you 100%! This is one of those situations that will make you stronger than you realize. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteCouldn't agree more Val - treat people with kindness, you never know what they are going through that day!!
ReplyDeleteThis was very brave of you to share something this personal to the blogging community. I will be praying for you and have a lot of respect for the way you are handling it. I'm a big fan of your blog and know that 2012 is going to be an even better year for you professionally and personally.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about this unfortunate news for you and your family. My thoughts and
ReplyDeletePrayers are with you.
J, I am so sorry to hear that. I actually went through that when I was younger and married for 2 years. It taught me a LOT of life lessons about life and judging people. You two are the only two that know what happened and it doesn't matter to everyone else. You don't owe anyone an explanation. I pray that you can both move on and make great choices in the next stage of life. God is good!
ReplyDeleteJ- I am a long time reader and first time commenter as well but I wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts and my prayers during this difficult time! I agree with "Mom Jovi Blog" on how you handled this sensitive and very private situation.
ReplyDeleteIf it means anything I didn't notice either because I'm always focused on your incredible outfits! Assuming that it was "virtual" friends speculating...it stinks that they would even feel like they had the right to ask you such personal questions.
Wishing you the best on your future.
I really commend your boldness in sharing this with us. Continue to seek the Lord's guidance as He leads you through to the next chapter in your life!
ReplyDeleteI'm really cheering for you! Live your life.
ReplyDeletePS - I really enjoy hearing about your faith in this post. I can't explain why. Maybe I'll email you...
I hadn't noticed either - too busy admiring your great style.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how tough it must be, so sending many blessings your way :)
Hey j,
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that.. Though we ve never met n I read a few blogs almost daily, I ve always felt a kind of warmth towards you. I know this must be very hard, take care n hugs!
As someone who often reads (and refers!) people to your blog, but rarely comments, (blog reader fail) I have to say-props to you for handling what I'm sure is a difficult and emotional time in your life with nothing but class.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to email you personally, but I just have to say that video moves me to tears every time I see it. The passion, the talent, the emotion - it's so beautiful! One of my dearest lifelong friends sadly took his life in August and his family asked me to sing How Great Thou Art. This video was my inspiration.
ReplyDeleteSame here! This video knocks my socks off every single time, and I've watched it at least 20 times (today). I'm really sorry about your friend, what a beautiful tribute for him!
ReplyDeleteThank you Raya. I am also a total blog reader fail. Need to start commenting more. Hope everything is going well with your new job and life out west!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mins! :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through this tough time and moving further away from someone who I'm sure is a dear man. I'm praying for God's nearness to you during this time and for His peace. The best peace you can have comes from doing what is right. Love and hugs!
ReplyDeleteThis made me LOL because i was thinking how I could have talked about my faith in regular blog posts... it really doesn't fit, haha. But in situations like these, it's impossible not to talk about it. :-)
ReplyDeleteYep. This whole situation has really opened my eyes to how judgmental I've been in my life! There is really only one judge and we should leave each other's actions to Him to deal with. :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Winnie! Here's to 2012!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Claire. **virtual hugs**
ReplyDeleteHi J. I can't even imagine what you're going through and hope everything works out for both of you. I don't think it's inappropriate on YOUR SIDE to go into details - it is YOUR blog, and you should feel free to post whatever you want (you have been sharing the pictures from your private life), I'm sure your readers would be honored. I do think it's very inappropriate of readers to be asking why you haven't been wearing your ring, because that usually happens for one reason and one reason only. Wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing - many of us were wondering. I hope that you both are able to heal from that devastating decision. Blessings.
ReplyDeleteI didn't even notice, but my heart goes out to you in this difficult time. I hope the Internet will shut up now...they are too nosy to begin with.
ReplyDeleteAngeline, thanks for making me laugh. :-) Unfortunately they will probably talk more now. Onward and upward!
ReplyDeleteMuch love and prayers for you J. Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
ReplyDeleteJ, I am a long time reader (almost since you started) and I applaud you for being honest with your reader instead of trying to hide behind it. While this is a complete personal matter, it's hardly private. You have always included Matt in your posts, mentioned him in something that was going on that day/event, and even on FB in many pictures of your life. You recently went back and took all of his pictures and anything that has him in your writing off of your blog and FB, your fans really has to wonder why. We may not have the right to pry into the reasons of your divorce but an explanation was better than random comments asking why you no longer wearing your rings and you giving a vague answer.
ReplyDeleteBack in August, you asked for guest bloggers because you were going on vacation and your "husband" would kill you if you blogged while there. (You also took that off recently.) Which only leads a few of those random comments to wonder "Didn't she say she was going on vacation with her husband?" Why be so vague and hypocritical about it?
It's really hypocrite to bring your faith into something your faith completely stands against! Divorce is a CHOICE.
ReplyDeletesending love to you, friend <3
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I split amicability this year, as well, and it was the best decision we've ever made. Good for you for deciding that the time was right to move on.
ReplyDeleteHopefully this will help you get closer to being the happiest possible you.
ReplyDeleteOf course it was a choice. Just like you had a choice to write a mean, nasty comment here, and you absolutely made that choice, didn't you? (pretty ironic if you ask me) Sin is sin. My sin (divorce) is the same in God's eyes as yours (being a nasty Internet troll). I'm not here to judge you though. I just hope you can figure out someday what Jesus was actually trying to say. (When he is referring to "Pharisees", pay close attention.)
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why you are complaining - you wanted an explanation, now you have one. I couldn't talk about it at the time. Now I am. What am I missing here??
ReplyDeleteI don't comment very much, but I just want you to know that I'm praying for you. You are so strong to have continued to post beautiful outfits during what I know was a difficult time. Thank you for making my mornings bright every day! The future will be amazing for you I know!
ReplyDeleteI haven't even noticed, but God bless you both.
ReplyDeleteTerri, I feel strongly that I've always been on the path of the happiest possible me! :-) I believe happiness is a choice. Circumstances (like whether I'm married, or the d word) are just circumstances.
ReplyDeleteThank you!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for opening your hearts and sharing this. I can't imagine it isn't easy.
ReplyDeleteAnd how dare these people judge you. I pray you both find happiness and peace and love. Because of our Faith in God and His Grace bestowed upon us, our sins are washed away. Don't let them bring you down sweet friend.
J, my dad is a pastor and a man of God who has also gone through a divorce. While it may not be the Biblical teaching that we learned, this is the situation that you are in. Through what you are going through, what you will learn, and where you are heading you can praise God for. Keep your head up, "guest" can't even stand behind their own name, so I wouldn't worry too much about them.
ReplyDeleteThank you Layne. I know they won't get it, but I just had to try to explain it. I know those bracelets in the '90s were silly, but if we really ask WWJD (what would Jesus do?), he would not be judging me right now. In fact, He is scooping me up in His arms right now and loving on me extra today because I need it. And we should do what He does for each other as much as possible. Thanks for being his arms today! :-)
ReplyDeleteI love you and your courage, J. We are all here for you, no matter what *hugs*
ReplyDeletethis country must be FULL of hypocrites, then, honey.
ReplyDeleteI have to admit I never noticed either...as I was too focused on your great outfits. In the big scheme of things...you need to do what makes you happy. I'm sure you have an amazing support group as you clearly have an amazing following. Thanks for inspiring me and keep smiling!
ReplyDeleteI was in the same position in 2005--though not a public figure. It hurts, no matter how amicable. I'm remarried now with two small sons that are the light of my world and I can tell you when my little 2 1/2 year old crawls up on my lap, puts his hands on the sides of my face, looks me in the eyes and says "I love you, mommy, SO MUCH!" I would go through the hurt again 10 more times to get to where I am now. God Bless you on this rough part of your journey.
ReplyDeleteHi J. My heart just broke when I read this post. I'm thinking of you, wishing you the best as you go through such a difficult time. I am also divorced, something I vowed would never, ever happen to me. You just can't know what life is going to bring you; all you can do is use the experience to help you become a more loving, caring, forgiving individual.
ReplyDeleteThank you Michelle. I wholeheartedly agree. The older I get, the more I recognize how little control we have over what happens in life sometimes and all we can do it get through it and hopefully become a stronger person. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear this, but as someone who has "been there" (I was also in my late 20s at the time), believe me that it does get easier. I found that the best recipe for moving forward with my life included lots of time with family and friends, as well as some alone time to reflect on the future.
ReplyDeleteJ, you're a beautiful and strong woman with a ton of courage. Thank you for sharing something so personal. You don't owe an explanation to anyone, but your readers definitely appreciate knowing what's going on. You're going to come out of this better than ever. Keep posting fabulous outfits (or don't if it gets to be too much...we'll understand!) and enjoy everything you've been given. :)
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's any of your business. If you've been a reader since the beginning you know her blog is about fashion not her personal life. As a reader myself I didn't even notice she wasn't wearing her ring anymore and I def didn't go back and check her previous blogs to see if she had taken things off or not. I think you need to get a life.
ReplyDeleteMan, I'm finding this comment absolutely hypocritical, too. For a Christian to judge another Christian is just as much a sin. And what I've come to experience is that the ones that judge the most, especially out loud, are the ones that are usually hiding something they are ashamed of. J, you've announced this with such dignity and respect. It speaks words of your character. You'll have my support always.
ReplyDeleteHi J,
ReplyDeleteSomeone recently sent this quote to me and it helped me
"If things appear to be coming apart, maybe they're just rearranging themselves for a better fit"
Best wishes to you!
Divorce is never easy - praying for strength & peace for you during this difficult time!
ReplyDeleteLet me just say tell your naysayers, Judging Judys, etc. to shut
ReplyDeleteit up. It's your life and frankly you did not owe anyone an answer.
This is a fashion blog, and even if it wasn't, it's nobody's business
but yours. I wish you well and a fantastic life. It is hard to go out on
your own and I am sure that there are many women (me included) who are
in similar situations and may not be strong enough or ready enough to
move out of their marriage. Again, I wish you well and pray for whatever
healing you may need.
To be honest I was so focused on your outfits I hadn't even noticed you weren't wearing your rings. Please remember "It is darkest before dawn." Let the anonymous trolls wallow in their hatred. You're a wonderful person. Stay strong.
ReplyDeletei cannot imagine how you are feeling right now and knowing that you and m. were obviously dealing with this decision for a long time now makes my heart hurt for you and what you've been going through, but it also makes my heart fill with hope for you both. i hope this next year fills both of your lives with love, happiness, strength and the ability to move on and upward.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sad to read that someone will go out of their way to try and belittle you over a situation that was, by no means, an easy decision (i'm sure). and even more so, not stand behind their own name. As a recent fan of yours (2 months, LOVE your combos) i have come to love your blog and although we may not know each other personally, i am deeply sorry that you are going thru this difficult time. My heart and prayers go out to you and everyone involved. It takes a very strong woman to handle this situation with so much class!!!!
ReplyDeleteand to you 'Guest" - your judgement is not needed, that comes on Judgement Day, where you too will face the Lord.
My point was it was very obvious to someone who has been a long time follow. We all know you got divorced or at least separated. You tweet, blog, and FB enough for your personal life not to be as private as you believe. Your name is ALL over the internet. You try to hid your real name and yet reveal it elsewhere.
ReplyDeleteHer blog has a bit of her personal life. It used to include Matt in it all the time... from her wedding to their daily events. I only noticed because I wanted to show a friend her wedding dress in one of her albums and noticed that she had taken all of Matt's pics off.
ReplyDeleteGoodness! Some people just don't know when to keep their mouths shut. Things happen, thats life. You obviously have more people standing behind you than you think. Your beliefs and blog are amazing, keep your head up and don't change a thing!
ReplyDelete"a nasty internet troll" wow... Looks like you are still dealing with your problems. I now understand why Matt divorced you.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm pretty sure it was obvious to my friends in real life too, but they gave me my space. I didn't want to talk about it yet, plain and simple, so they didn't ask. Would you really force your friends to talk about the horrible things they are going through on YOUR terms, and not when THEY are ready to talk about it? Wowzers.
ReplyDeleteI never said I was a Christian but for someone who say that are a Christian and is OK with divorce then I don't think that makes Christians very appealing.
ReplyDeleteBravo!
ReplyDeleteI must say, I have been reading for awhile and I didn't even realize that you were married/divorced, or going through anything. That is certainly a testament to the fact that you are keeping what should remain private, private. I think your message is one that is appropriate and classy. I hope you find peace with everything soon! xoxo
Jesus hung out with prostitutes and tax collectors (the big sinners of that time) and he was pretty appealing if you ask me...
ReplyDeleteThank you Chelsie!
ReplyDeletetake care J, will keep you all in my prayers during this difficult time but I am sure you will come out of this a stronger woman.
ReplyDeleteJ- First off, you are amazing and fabulous! This post took a lot of strength and courage. You are in my thoughts and life is crazy, but it's life!
ReplyDeleteTo anyone who has said anything negative...before you judge ANYONES elses life take a long look in the mirror. I believe people who can say anything judgmental to you is miserable in their own life and uses others to make themself feel better. Things happen, people change, life goes on. J, you owe no one an explanation and have to make yourself happy. Your faith will keep you strong and your strength will make you a better person.
Keep kickin ass girl!!! And smile:)
wow, you must have a lot of time on your hands to be able to quote missing posts that specifically. do you live and die by this blog? i only wonder if you know your bible as intimately as you seem to know these posts on a fashion blog (which i love dearly, but certainly not dearly enough that i can reference and track her comings and goings throughout hundreds of posts....).
ReplyDeletej, live your life, be a good person, and find peace and happiness in any way you can. it's really the best any of us can do. and please, keep up your great blog! x
I think it takes a lot of maturity and two people who truly know themselves to make a decision like this.
ReplyDeleteI, too, am a Christian who never imagines herself being divorced--but after reading your post, I took a moment to reflect and think about how much I take my marriage for granted. It would be too easy to sit back and judge (for those that are), but it is easy to put anyone in any marriage and any situation in your shoes (however fabulous shoes they may be). I think you are doing what's right for you. It takes a lot of courage to admit that this is the best outcome.
I wish you all the best,
Whitney
Sending many positive thoughts and virtual hugs your way. I know this has to be far, far from easy and putting it on the internet definitely doesn't help. Your fans will remain your fans and the haters seem to hate no matter what. Stay strong and classy (I know you will!).
ReplyDeleteJ , thank you for your honesty and grace in a difficult situation. I don' t know exactly what you are going though but I have buried many dreams and expectations for my life. I can only imagine it is more difficult when strangers feel the need to critize. I am a christian and my understanding is that God hates divorce because he loves us and knows how painful it is. My thoughts and prayers for you as you transistion.
ReplyDeleteI am a follower of yours on FB. When I pulled up the announcement post on my phone the context was too small for me to see. However, I just knew it was a baby announcement. To say I was shocked and sad to read this is an understatement. I'm so sorry you are going through this as I am sure it is very difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteAlso, reading this and the comments below have really opened my eyes to something. I will email you regarding that.
I have been reading almost since you started and I am so sorry to hear about the difficult time you are going through. You give so much to all your readers and I KNOW that great things are ahead for you, personally and professionally. Best wishes to you & M.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I have never seen that video before and WOW. I just sat here bawling; it's so moving.
Someday you will likely be unfairly judged, I hope this blog response comes to mind and your are ashamed by your actions.
ReplyDeleteI'm embarrassed I haven't noticed the lack of rings, especially considering how much I adore you and your blog and look forward to it EVERY day! However, I'm very sorry to hear about what's going on and to hell with the losers who post nasty comments. You had to do what you had to do for reasons that none of us readers are privy to and it's none of their darn-tootin' beeswax. So stay strong, put one (manicured and well-dressed) foot in front of the other, dress up more on the days you feel worse and you will survive. You rock and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!
ReplyDeleteJ - she's not worth your effort to respond. It's your blog -- your rules. More power to you. I love your fashion advice and am a daily reader. Your personal life is just that, personal.
ReplyDeleteBTW, I'm wearing a brand new pair of red skinny jeans today because of YOU. I never would have bought these on my own had I not seen all of the awesome looks you featured on your blog with your red skinnies. So THANK YOU.
God Bless -- Julie
Well said, J!
ReplyDeleteWe all love you so much. Praying for you my dear! But the Lord watches over those who fear him, those who rely on his unfailing love. God is watching over you!
ReplyDeleteI really do not understand any of your comments and questions. You clearly do NOT respect J or anything about her. Just because we read her blog does not give us the rights to her life. Just because she has a facebook account does not mean that her life is not still private. Just because her name is on the internet does not mean that she is obligated to share her entire life-- or that you "know" anything about her. She has the right to reveal what she wants to whom she wants. Your assumptions that you or anyone else are due some sort of explanation just because you think you "know" something about this young lady's personal life are ridiculous and immature. Congrats--you pressured her about something truly personal that should only have to be shared with loved ones and at a time when she was ready...she's lucky to have you as a "loyal" fan.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best J...you are a fabulous inspiration. Plus, you have a ton if ladies here that care for you and support you 100%.
ReplyDeleteFrom one Christian to another, I am sorry you have had to go through this rough time. Jesus is the greatest thing that could ever happen to us. And He loves you more than words can say. Thanks for continuing to blog and be salt and light to this world. I look forward to all your future posts. Blessings...
ReplyDeleteHannah
http://health4lifekc.blogspot.com/
I read this awesome article by Kristin Armstrong and the last paragraph made me think of you and I wanted to share.
ReplyDelete"If you are struggling with someone else's words, remember that just as no one can steal your peace, no one has the power to define you. And you don't have to refute or respond or react- At. All. Their definition is just that, theirs. It has no impact whatsoever on who you are, or what you can do. Leave them to their bitterness".
http://milemarkers.runnersworld.com/2011/12/moving-on.html
I am so sorry to hear your news. I think these kind of matters should be kept private online and in real life. No one has a right to root around in your personal business and you have kept your personal life fairly quiet as long as I've been reading.
ReplyDeleteJenifer, how dare you call J a hypocrite. I think I've only ever commented maybe once or twice on this blog, but you have astounded me tonight with your asinine attacks. I recommend that, if you are affiliated with a religion, you do your OWN work as soon as possible. You seem to be missing the message.
ReplyDeleteJ-hugs to you, love. Your fellow Christians and fans (most of us) are holding you in our hearts. Know that you are loved by those (and The One) that matters. Being remarried myself, I can attest to the fact that there is a new day ahead.
So sorry to hear this news, lots of thoughts and prayers for you during this time!
ReplyDeleteI love your blog and wish you the best! You are very classy and I'm sorry to hear about this. God has a plan for your life. :)
ReplyDeleteWow, after reading this, it absolutely made me admire you even more! You're fabulous with, or without a man by your side and I’m so happy to be able to follow your life. Thank you for giving us a wonderful example of what it takes to be a STRONG woman. God bless you and may god bless the road ahead. Stay Fabulous :) Like always!
ReplyDeleteJ, I'm so sorry to hear this. I applaud your strength and courage for making this announcement. You did it with such grace. I love your blog, and I will continue to love it. It was this time last year that I stumbled across your pictures on New York & Company's facebook page, and everyday I would look forward to what you were wearing. I also must thank you, because it was you who inspired me to step outside my comfort zone and start my own blog.
ReplyDeleteTrust in the Lord and keep praying, for He will see you through this tough time.
Janell
J, after over 100 comments (and EVERY other person's comments were positive and supportive of you except this one girl) it is obvious who has the issues. Keep your chin up an God bless you. You deserve all the happiness in the world.
ReplyDeleteHave you noticed that you are the only negative person posting? I think that says a lot about YOUR character. One of the wonderful things about bloging is being able to learn from one another and share ideas; one negative is people like yourself who choose to say nasty things about others. If you have a problem with J and the decisions she makes in HER own life then don't read HER blog.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless you both. Everyone in life deserves to be happy. I am recently divorced after 23 years of marriage and it is painful and takes time. I am glad you could part as friends.
ReplyDeleteJesus loves you.
ReplyDeleteJ, as a weekly visitor to your blog, I'll just share...each one prepares you for the next one and sometimes you have to get what your don't want to learn what you you do want. Keep your head up, girl!
ReplyDeleteOn judgement day you will have to answer and I feel sorry for you.. I'm sure your a low life person and obviously trying to put your problems on J. Good that your showing all her fans your the ONLY negative one. Go away
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about your situation, but you the way in which you have handled it, with such grace, just shows what an amazing person you are. I love your blog, and I think you are just fabulous! xoxo
ReplyDeletereading that comment made me feel dumber.
ReplyDeleteI would say it's highly unlikely that this girl has friends, J.
ReplyDeleteHi J,
ReplyDeleteI've been a long time fan of you and your blog. This news comes as quite a shock. It's inexplicable because I don't know you personally and have never met you, but it felt like this happened to a close friend. You've been on my mind all evening. I can only imagine how much courage this post took - to open yourself to all the stupid, judgmental people around. You are a strong, confident and sensible woman, and I have no doubt you will come out of this experience stronger and braver. Don't let judgmental and critical people get to you - they obviously have nothing but negativity in their lives. You have the support of your family, your friends and your thousands of fans who love you so much. But most of all, you have yourself - your inner strength and faith that will guide you through this rough time.
I follow many bloggers but you are something else. You have the drive, the motivation, the passion and the focus to achieve whatever you want in life. One day you will be more successful than you have ever imagined :-)
Lots of love and best wishes,
Neha
Gracefully handled... you both are in my prayers! And my glass is raised with you in a toast for a life full of happiness and love! :)
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful, classy, and inspiring! Thank you for the post, and sharing your thoughts and lessons you have gained from your personal life situation.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you abundantly!
Dear Jeanette, through your blog, I've grown to so appreciate your solid, yet wonderfully-creative, fashion advice; and also to really *care* about you, too, you know. Despite my being married-without-children for 37 years ............ but with my being 1,800 miles away from my Immediate Family ............ there are days in which my loneliness is almost unbearable, (particularly during Christmastime!!); and your blog is one of the things that I can ALWAYS count on to bring *Joy and Beauty* into my life. Although I'm not of Irish descent, I simply love Ireland; and this ............ along with a big (((*hug*)))!! ............ is My Wish For You:
ReplyDeleteA TRADITIONAL IRISH
BLESSINGWarm be the love that surrounds
you, Good be
your friends, and true, Constant be hope and promise, Useful the work
that you do --Close be your family around you, Good health be yours
day by day, Long be the life that you're living, And full of much joy
on the way!
Both my husband and I think you are a good, *good* person, Jeanette; and even though my husband's actually old enough to be your father, (haha!!), he still ............ (very kind and devoted man of character that he genuinely is) ............ a.l.s.o. ~ s.a.y.s. that you're "A Beautiful Woman, Inside-And-Out." (I do actually talk about your blog with my husband; so I just HAD to share that spontaneously sincere "guy thing" he expressed to me about you!!)
I can't believe people have been commenting about your lack of a wedding ring!!! That just blows my mind.
ReplyDeleteI know this can't be easy - but it's definitely an opportunity to find a new path in life and find happiness. My parents divorced after 28 years of marriage - and I have never been so happy for them. I DO believe in marriage and what it stands for, but I don't believe in staying in a relationship just for the sake of staying. Totally NOT worth it. Good luck -- you always have a friend here :)
I'm so sad to hear this and I will definitely be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. I hadn't personally noticed the lack of wedding rings in your recent pictures; however, I am recently engaged, and thus wedding dress obsessed and I remember not too long ago I looked through your wedding dress album to see the different pictures you had posted of wedding dresses and I noticed that the pictures of you in your wedding dress were no longer there. At the time, I didn't think much of it. I thought maybe you decided you wanted to keep it private or something along those lines. Now it all makes sense. Anyway, as an engaged woman, this news does thoroughly upset me! Even though I've never met you, I almost started crying from reading this statement and I was hoping that it was all just a joke or that I was misreading it. I was raised Catholic so I understand your own issues that you are having with the "d" word but I also don't believe in living in a perpetual state of unhappiness. As long as you two believe it is the best decision, then I certainly wish you the best! (Although the hopeless romantic in me is hoping that you two crazy kids find a way to work things out! ;) )
ReplyDeleteOh wow J, I am so sorry to hear this however I am happy for you in a sense because you are handling this situation so gracefully. I wish the best for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers, I hope that you find your true happiness because I believe that you truly deserve it.
ReplyDeleteI skimmed through the comments thread and I cannot believe that someone was so harsh to you and even brought faith into their arguments... Im very sorry that you had to deal with that - and even still you dealt with her with grace as well.Best of luck to you J, I am sure that this time in your life is difficult but you can certainly see how much we all love and support you and only wish the best for you! God bless dear, lots of love <3 Teresa
Best of luck J!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear about it J. I am already a fan of your style and confidence and now I am a fan again for being so brave. You are handling things just perfect. Those who love you would never ask for details or explanation. I am a Christian too and I know exactly what you mean. God bless and keep rocking as you always do.. Some times it is very necessary to let some things go.
ReplyDeleteJ, I am praying for God to bring you peace at this time in your life. I have loved getting to know you over the past few months as a daily follower of your blog. Thanks so much for continuing to brighten our days with your posts! You are awesome- stay strong! Your followers love you!
ReplyDeleteSending you a little love, prayer, and some warm thoughts today. This post took a lot of courage and compassion. You'll come out just fine on the other end of things and you will have learned some very valuable lessons along the way.
ReplyDeleteJ, I can't even imagine how difficult this must be right now, but it seems you're in a better place now if you're strong enough to discuss it on your blog and deal with the nosy and negative people.
ReplyDeleteYour personal life is nobody's business but your own, I can't believe some people would have the nerve to ask you about your marriage when they don't even know you. Or even worse, people that judge your decision only because they think having access to the internet entitles them to do so.Just think about it this way, opinions are like a$$holes, everybody has one and thinks theirs don't stink.
Best wishes for the new year! and thanks again for get me started with wearing belts ;)
Just read all these comments, and the words of the great Dr. Seuss come to mind... Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, girl... this too shall pass!
I share the same faith as you and I do not believe that we are punished for our past mistakes. When we have asked for forgiveness, the mistakes are forgotten. I don't know you apart from what you have shared on your blog, but I know that you are a strong, independent and beautiful person.I hope that you realize your trials are not punishment. They are what make each of us who we are.
ReplyDeleteI didn't mean it in a negative way or to criticize. Sometimes I struggle with my own faith and I see you standing strong in yours. It's just nice to see and it's inspirational. That's all.
ReplyDeleteI pray for you during this transition time and hope for a future full of posssibilities for you! :) You deserve to the utmost!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear you have been going through all of this. I can't imagine how difficult it must be to post something so personal but you did it with such dignity and class. You should be proud of that. And I'm with the others....you look so stinkin stylish each day that I hadn't noticed the ring. So thankful for you and your blog!!!
ReplyDeleteThat video gives me chills every time I see it. We serve an awesome God. Remember that He has a plan for every step of your life.
ReplyDeleteWay to handle such a difficult situation with complete grace. As someone who has been there as well in my late 20's after 3 years of marriage, no one understands the situation but the couple directly involved and others shouldn't pass judgement on what the decision the two of you have made. Only you know what's best for you. Follow your heart and ignore the negativity.
ReplyDeletewishing you the best...
ReplyDeleteJ, I am an avid follower of your blog b/c I simply love your sense of fashion. I hardly ever post nor have I ever been married or divorced(epic fail in both blogging and relationships...haha), however; I felt moved to comment but could not find the words so I decided to post this:
ReplyDeleteOne night I had a dream...I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord, andAcross the sky flashed scenes from my life.For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints in the sand;One belonged to me, and the other to the Lord.When the last scene of my life flashed before us,I looked back at the footprints in the sand.I noticed that many times along the path of my life,There was only one set of footprints.I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my lifeThis really bothered me, and I questioned the Lord about it."Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you,You would walk with me all the way;But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life,There is only one set of footprints.I don't understand why in times when Ineeded you the most, you should leave me.The Lord replied, "My precious, preciouschild. I love you, and I would never,never leave you during your times oftrial and suffering.When you saw only one set of footprints,It was then that I carried you."
Thanks for your brave post, J. You are in my thoughts!
ReplyDeleteIt's tough going through a public break-up. To this day, I get people googling my divorce. I wish you strength in handling your private affairs.
ReplyDeleteAt this point, I'm not saying anything that the 100+ before havent, but I'll add my two cents. You're handling this with such grace, J, it's absolutely amazing. I was raised as a Christian but still have trouble relying on my faith completely during adversity. Thanks so much for sharing such a tough experience, as well as what you've learned from it, and how it has strengthened your walk with the Lord.
ReplyDeleteWho knew I (we!) could get so much from a fashion blog, right? Many blessings to you ma'am, as I know you have an abundance of them in store :)
Long time reader but don't comment very often. Thanks for opening up to us. We are here for you!!
ReplyDeleteJ, my heart is with you both and I give you huge props for your handling of this situation. Thank you so very much for leading by beautiful example.
ReplyDeleteJ--I've been looking to your blog for fashion ideas for quite a while now. As a younger girl, I really look up to you, not just for your fashion sense, but also for your business savvy and your approachable, fun blogging style. I'm sorry you have had to deal with anyone giving you a hard time about this. I really appreciate your honesty and grace in handling the situation. Wishing you all the best in this tough time, and I'm looking forward to more great fashion posts in the future!
ReplyDeleteGuest, Judging others is a CHOICE. And that's something my faith stands completely against.
ReplyDeleteWhat a difficult time for you and your family. I'm sorry to hear this, but I know things will get better for you! In every situation, you only have two choices: you can be positive or you can be negative. You are clearly a positive person and are very much loved. Keep your head up :)
ReplyDeleteSarah, so sweet. I haven't read "Footprints" in a long time but it made me tear up! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteThank you Mins! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, of course not!! Sorry, tone is so hard to convey online sometimes. I loved your comment! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks Rachel!
ReplyDeleteAww, thanks Angelica and congrats on your engagement! M. moved four states away so it's not likely we will be getting back together. ;-(
ReplyDeleteThanks Michelle!
ReplyDeleteDear J, I wish you strength and faith to go through this situation.
ReplyDeleteAnd I like to thank you for your inspiring outfits. I look forward to see your colorful outfits on this cold and rainy days in Germany.
I'm sorry to hear this news. You will be in my thoughts, and let me know if there anything I can do to help.
ReplyDeleteHi J, just wanted to say how very sorry I am and my heart is with you during this difficult time. I actually never noticed you without your rings until this post - and then I looked back and noticed! I never believe divorce is right for my marriage either, but sometimes it is best for two people to separate in order to live their lives with fulfillment and happiness, and life is too short to live it otherwise. I wish you the best and know that any decision you feel was meant to be made, is then the right one. Good luck to the future for the both of you.
ReplyDeleteSince you're now in Orlando *btw super jealous love O-Town* maybe my fave quote from Walt Disney will be fitting "Keep Moving Forward" i think you're totally awesome & so sorry to hear of this happening but you handled it with grace & charm!! Best of wishes down the road!!!
ReplyDeleteYes, divorce is choice. That's just what life is, just a series of choices and the paths we follow from those choices.Sometimes you have to make really difficult decisions because thats what life calls for. J's choice, while I'm sure extremely hard, will ultimately lead her to happiness and fulfillment. By no means is bring faith into this situational hypocritically. The great thing about faith and God is that they are always there for you no matter what the situation! Good luck during this hard time J, I know things will be looking up soon!
ReplyDeleteYou're in my heart. I've been there. It's tough. But do-able.
ReplyDelete=)
J, I just have to say that you never cease to amaze me, not only with your wonderful outfit posts, but with your grace and poise. I know that several people have already said this, but I also feel as though I know you personally, likely because of how truly personable you are. I want you to know that you have several thousands of fans who are true fans and support you. Please don't let the few "fans" who are negative bring you down. I know that you are a strong, classy woman and will come out of this extremely tough situation even stronger. You are truly an inspiration to so many people. You are in my prayers! Thank you SO much for everything you do and who you are J!
ReplyDeleteI wish I could reach through the computer and give you a hug! Hugs to you!! <3
ReplyDeleteI am a Christian and married and from that premise I think people here should stop judging and start loving as Jesus told us. J, we cannot know what happened but God loves you and We love you. I am sure as you lean on God and follow His word...He will led you to make that right decision. I will be praying with you and I know you will be fine.
ReplyDeleteCharlotte
J,
ReplyDeleteI went through a divorce when I was 24 years old (I'm now 35 - wow time flies!). I went through a period of thinking that everyone was labeling me as "that divorced person." And maybe a lot of them were. But many of them weren't. I think I was my harshest critic - it took me a while to get over labeling myself as a divorced person. I struggled with that a lot. I was ashamed of it. But then I started realizing all the new possibilities I had in my life! And there were a lot of them! New relationships, the ability to move if I wanted to, anywhere, anytime. So, in saying all this, I'm just saying that it does get better. You will learn a lot about yourself. You will learn to depend on yourself. You will become more independent. It will make you the person you will be for the rest of your life. And that is a LOT of things to look forward to. :)
You apparently know very little if not ANYTHING of Christianity. The only judge is God. If Jesus was crucified for the forgiveness of our sins, then who in the world are YOU to judge? If he can forgive all of humanity and give his life up for all sinners, then who am I to judge? Who are YOU to judge? Are you implying that you're higher than Him and have the right to judge?
ReplyDeleteDid I say I was "OK with divorce"? No, I did not. Am I going to hold one thing over J's head? Am I going to stop turning to her page for fabulous finds? Am I going to think of her as less beautiful or less great-all-around? I'm sure as heck not! Why? Because I'm not The Judge. Because if He can forgive, I sure as heck can. You don't know A LOT about J, and nor do I. I'm sure you've been sitting in the room with her as she's cried over
the fact that it's over (because you know, all brides dream of this day, right?). I'm sure you've been there to hear her speak
words of what she's feeling. Right?
I doubt it.
So if you can honestly sit here and judge her for ONE thing you barely know about her (because you certainly don't know the details), then shame on you. You know nothing of faith if this is how you choose to live it.
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me!! I loved this and totally relate. Thank you again! :-)
ReplyDeleteSo sweet! Thank you Rosanna and Jack!
ReplyDeleteSo encouraging Neha!! :-) I can't tell you how much it means to have you speak these positive words into my life. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteLove it Nikki!
ReplyDeleteThis brought me to tears, thank you Whitney!
ReplyDeleteSo sweet Leeann!! Thank you!! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you Patti! Easier said than done some days, but great words to live by nonetheless!
ReplyDeleteFaithful and admiring reader, not a commenter. Just wanted to express sympathy and support. As a divorced Christian, I understand where you are at. Many blessings, and peace, to you. Maria
ReplyDeleteI.m a 33 year old Christian woman who has been married for 12 years, Two years ago my marriage started to fall apart and in june 2010 my husband left (we have 2 boys 8 and 3 years old) I was so DEPRESSED I literally wanted to die, I lived in sweats, stopped wearing make-up, and pretty much cried all day. One day I couldn`t sleep at 3 am in the morning 3 months after he left and I typed "Everyday Fashiion" on my pc, trying to get motivated to start wearing something nice again, Your blog popped on my screen, I started looking through your outfits,I saw a beautiful woman, all smiles looking great. I got up at 3 am went to my closet and started trying out clothes, puting together outfits inspired by you, You unknowingly snapped me out of my fashion depression. Thank you sooooooooo much. My family situation has not been resolved yet, but I look forward to seeing your face every morning and be inspired to wipe my tears and look beautiful.
ReplyDeleteZaira, thank you so much for sharing your story with me!! I am beyond moved and honored that I could play a small role in your road to feeling better. I can totally relate to that depressed feeling (although, I think having two boys would make it much harder) and I'll say a little prayer for you and your situation tonight. In all honestly, having the blog and wanting to be strong for all of YOU lovely ladies and wanting to keep putting smiles on your faces has helped me tremendously in getting through this situation. I'm really thankful for you guys, so thank you again for sharing! :-)
ReplyDeleteps. In case anyone is wondering about the "(Edited by a moderator)" thing under Jenifer's comment, all I did was remove M's name. Not sure how she knows his name (I've never revealed it here!!) but it totally goes against my plea for privacy, esp. for him. I didn't change anything else about the comment though! :-)
ReplyDeleteJust keep doing what you do..... you never know who you're blessing, inspiring and helping!!! I`m Mexican and all the way down here in Guadalajara you have really helped someone who may never meet you but always be grateful.
ReplyDeleteOMG, this is so touching. Wow!!!
ReplyDeletePerfect. Well said. A class act.
ReplyDeleteI know this wasn't easy, and you did a great job. Thinking about you. xo
you are so strong and a true inspiration! xoxoxo
ReplyDeletecan't say anything better than everyone else has, but just wanted to let you know we support you in this very difficult time!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry that you are going through this, but it sounds like you are in a good place. I wish the best for you and M.
ReplyDeleteHi J! I've been reading your blog for several months now and just saw this post. I had no idea and am quite impressed with your positive attitude and cheerful smile in what has to be an extremely difficult time. You are truly an inspiration to me you beautiful BEAUTIFUL girl!
ReplyDelete-Karen
Hey J, Obvi I'm late to this "party" but I just thought I would write something in support. I read your blog in large chunks(unfortunately, law school doesn't leave me with much time for social life- online or otherwise) but I can honestly say that I've read every post you've written. I had an amazing summer in Europe and visited most of the cities you visited in Aug so it was cool to read your take on them. Anyway, back to the point at hand, you are a fashionista and you don't owe us anything but awesome fashion advise for budget fashionistas. In the event that your advise is lacking in that department, we'll let you know. This post shocked me and made me sad because we are age mates and I've been married for 5 yrs so I felt some sort of kinship with you. People judged me when I got married because I was "so young".... It's not fair but that's what people do. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Don't worry about the crazy people who feel entitled to your personal life's details. I hope that 2012 brings you lots of love, happiness, adventures and great fashion inspiration to share with us.
ReplyDeletePS: Your statement?... Sooo classy! Love it! You are truly a classy lady J!
Thank you M! I appreciate your support and that you continued to read even when law school kept you busy. :-)
ReplyDeleteps. I chose to disclose this info in the comments section to actually increase M's privacy. Now the stalkers have no idea where he even lives. :-)
ReplyDeleteso did you just rip those pages out of your bible? the ones where Jesus tells christians they are NOT to divorce? figured since they don't apply to you, obviously, you'd just rip them out so you don't have to read them. that is if you read your bible......which i'm assuming you do since you are a "christian". next time i suggest you don't announce that you are a "christian" and "learning what it truly means to follow Jesus" when you're doing exactly what he commanded those who follow him NOT to do. but way to ruin your witness.
ReplyDeleteWhoa there! 5 B.C. called and they want their Pharisee back. This actually makes me really sad how much you are missing the point. The best way to "ruin your witness" is trying to portray your own sinless image and judging everyone around you. Jesus said in John 8:7 "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” So please, by all means, pick up the first stone. Except you can't, because by leaving this comment, you were sinning. I truly hope you learn this lesson in life before you have to go through what I did to learn it!
ReplyDeleteAlso, this subject is really beating a dead horse. Please see the similar comment someone left below and the 40+ responses people left!
ReplyDeleteWabeccy, if you're a Christian.. you've just ruined your witness to me. Such harsh, unloving words. Which, I'm pretty sure, isn't Christlike.
ReplyDeleteThis is what is wrong with our society.....Who are you to judge? Do you honestly believe you are a flawless Christian? Nope, you aren't. Maybe you need to pick the bible back up.
ReplyDeleteJ- ignore these "Christians"...can't help but laugh.
LOL, OMG I totally thought this was aimed at me for a minute!! haha I definitely don't think I'm flawless, and I don't want anyone to think I'm judging Wabeccy. I'm saying we are all sinners, and for that reason let's not even go down that path of judging each other! :-) Thanks for commenting.
ReplyDeleteEcclesiastes 3:1 "To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven"
ReplyDeleteJ-This verse always helps me when going through something difficult. I wish you all the best during this tough transition in your life!
Mandi, that is so sweet thank you!
ReplyDeletewow, that is really hateful. did you just ignore the part in the Bible where we are all sinners and Jesus is the only one fit to judge? why don't you practice YOUR witness. Anonymity allows you to post this, but if Christianity was all about judging others i'm sure we can comb through YOUR life and find plenty to be judgmental about.
ReplyDeleteDoesn't the bible say that God forgives us of our sins? I've NEVER met somebody who is perfect. You cannot tell me that you have never committed a sin. If you told me that, I'd know that you were lying, which is a sin in case you were wondering. I know a lot of people who are divorced, including both of my pastors. As a Christian myself, I am sure God would rather want us to be happy and divorced, than still married and miserable. J did this to better her life. I am sure she knows that God forgives her of her sins, just as he does for you. No matter how big of a sin you have committed, as long as you ask for forgiveness, you are forgiven.
ReplyDelete@webeccy2848, first of all, did YOU read the passage in the Bible about judging others and casting the first stone. Last time i checked you don't know J or anything about her situation so calm down the condescending tone. Secondly, we all sin and make mistakes it what sets us apart from God and his perfection and our human weakness. As a christian myself and have divorce in the family i know how hard it is and noone wants to go through that especially being a christian, but you pick yourself up and move on with your life and walk with God and bask in his forgiveness! oh and p.s. way to ruin YOUR witness by being a typecast pharisee....
ReplyDeleteSweep the dirt of your own front porch before you tell someone which broom to use.
ReplyDeleteDear Jkreffel,
ReplyDeleteThank you for posting this!! I got divorced a year ago when I was 24 and it has been one of the hardest experiences of my life. Like you said, I've struggled a lot with being "the divorced person" and I'm so hard on myself. But reading your post has made me realize that life gets so much better, and I"m slowly seeing that this was a tremendous learning experience. Again, thanks for sharing a piece of your story b/c for so long I felt I was the only person getting divorced at that age!!
Dear J:
ReplyDeleteI'm obviously a new follower and I want to say thank for having the courage to share this with all of us. I too am a Christian and I divorced a year ago, and it was one of the darkest periods of my life. Let me just say that you are an inspiration, and a fabulous looking at that!! Thank you for showing us that life is beautiful, especially when you have the right pair of shoes :)