January 24, 2012

If Fashion Mistakes Are Wrong, I Don't Want to Be Right






























I’m a perfectionist, and mistakes grate on my every last nerve. Oh just imagine how carefree and wonderful life would be if I could go through each day, never making any mistakes! But who am I kidding? I make them all the time. I loose my temper, I forget things, I’m messy, and yes (the horror!) I make fashion mistakes.

Here’s the thing about that, though: I’m pretty sure you guys make fashion mistakes too. So that’s why when I came up with the idea of a fashion blog, I went against every perfectionist bone in my body and thought it would be fun if it were a place to experiment. I have a lot to learn when it comes to fashion, so why not share that journey with a bunch of strangers? (seemed logical at the time…)

And now that I’m 1.5 years into that journey I can say with absolute resolve that fashion mistakes are a must! They are absolutely necessary to learn, grow, and ultimately how you become a better dresser! I know it’s uncomfortable to take a fashion risk, and try something new, but it’s honestly the #1 thing I can do to encourage you to become more stylish.

Still not loving the idea of making mistakes? Well, at the end of the day, no matter how ah-mazing your outfit is, or how safe it is, I guarantee(!!) that someone will hate it. You will never be able to please everyone, so why are you trying? There are a few exceptions to this rule (you need to be respectful of church and work dress codes, and nudity is not okay), but other than that - if you want to wear it, then wear it! Confidence is everything and if you love what you are wearing, then that is all you need to know. Don’t listen to what anyone else says, and really it’s none of our business what you are wearing anyway. I tend to preface any fashion advice I give with “you don’t have to listen to me, if you really love it, then wear it!”

I recently read a piece of blogging advice that said “make it your best outfit post ever, or don’t post it at all.” Works for some people, but that is the exact opposite of what I’m trying to do here! I could bring you the most perfectly curated blog full of amazing pictures, but there are thousands of people doing that already. I refuse! Call me the Julia Child of the blogging world, but I don’t come from high fashion, don’t particularly care to, and along the way, I will likely drop a lot of chickens on the floor while I’m cooking. For some people, that makes them uncomfortable, and they would rather see a blog that presents a more perfect image. I hope that some of you will find that part of J's Everyday Fashion inspirational though, and will dive in and drop some of your own chickens along the way with me. ;-)

How do you feel about making fashion mistakes? Do you agree that they are a “must” for becoming a better dresser, or do you try to avoid them at all costs? And seriously, how funny are some of my outfit fails?!

Check out the totally re-vamped “What is J’s Everyday Fashion?” tab to see my full list of 10 Fashion Commandments.

You may also like this post: “If Copying is Wrong, I Don’t Want to Be Right”

94 comments:

  1. I think a lot of those outfits that you considered fashion fails are actually misses! You are very right in that an outfit will not please everyone and sometimes I think the biggest critic might be ourselves!

    -Sharon

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  2. Oops that should say HITS not misses!!

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  3. I actually think some of your "fails" are really cute! I fail spectacularly all the time!

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  4. Maybe I'm a fashion fail, because I think some of the photos you listed as fails are great! Again, there is a different opinion for everything! And I like seeing "normal" people try things. It just doesn't seem real for someone to post only amazing outfits.

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  5. I agree with the others - some of your "fails" are cute!  But I love your strategy.  I get frustrated with some of the baking/cooking blogs I follow where everything is perfect and delicious.  We ALL mess up sometimes, so I love that you post even the outfits that you don't love, along with your advice on how to improve them. 

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  6. Some of these outfits I can tell what's wrong - proportions are off, etc.  But some look okay to me.  Especially the second to last one with the denim(?) pencil skirt, white shirt and scarf, looks just fine to me.  I agree with you that fashion mistakes are one of the best ways to learn what works and what doesn't.  Sometimes you just have to try the pieces on together to realize what works and what doesn't work.

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  7. I like some of these. But I had to laugh out loud when I read this today. I love that you are not like the rest of the blogs. Thats why I keep coming every day. Thanks again for posting everyday and sharing all these tips!

    ~Nina

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  8. One of my favorite things about your blog is that, even when you know you might have an outfit "fail" on - your always smiling!  Thanks for inspiring people to try different things :)

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  9. Win or fail, at least you're trying! I think just making an effort goes a long way towards looking professional and feeling confident (at least for me), even if the outfit isn't always just right. Thanks for your blog, I love it!

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  10. "A work in progress" is my motto - perfect would be boring and you'd never learn anything otherwise. Keep it up on the blog, too - I <3 all the inspiration :)

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  11. I love that, in miniature up against all of the other "fails", the harem pants outfit actually looks pretty nice! I love deconstructing why my outfits don't work, and I'm glad other blogs do the same. Becoming a fashionista (or at the very least, someone comfortable being fashionable in the clothes that they have) is a learning process, and it's silly to think that every outfit is going to be a winner.

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  12. Loved this post!  What I have always loved about your blog is that you keep it real!  Keep doing what you're doing :)

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  13. Actually I think the one with the denim trousers and pink jacket looks ok. Not a fail to me.

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  14. I love that you are humble enough to admit when you have "failed" (I don't think these are fails, they just aren't the best of the best). I feel like no other blogger will ever say anything bad about her outfit-- even if the outfit looks ridiculous (unflattering fit, off color scheme, etc). Your outfits lately are terrific! You are on a roll!

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  15. Oh Miss J! I know you hear this *ALL* the time, but your attitude and blog is so refreshing in the blogosphere! You are just about the cutest thing ever and I absolutely love the everyday inspiration of outfits that I could actually *afford*! A key piece to any fashion puzzle! (c: Keep the hits (and misses!) comin' girl, we aren't going anywhere! (c:

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  16. Sometimes an outfit we think looks awesome in the mirror horrifies us when we see it on camera! 

    Thanks for sharing the experiments, the "fails" and the ups and downs of getting dressed with us.  It's nice to know that we don't all always hit it out of the park.

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  17. I love that you wear "everyday" fashion and nothing too runway.  People need ideas on how to look in their real life!

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  18. Anyone who says they've never had a fashion fail is lying.  That's why I love your blog - you aren't afraid to admit when something doesn't go exactly right.  I see enough blogs where I cringe at the choice of clothing, and the person is raving about the look.  And I really can't relate to bloggers who seem to be perfectly put together 100% of the time. 

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  19. You know - sometimes I walk out the door knowing my outfit never really came together, and then I get a ton of compliments.  Sometimes I put together the perfect outfit, only to get odd glances from others.  I agree, it is totally what you feel comfortable in.  There are some outfits in your fail list that I really like.  And others that you post that I think, Nah, not for me.  Fashion is very personal and you do a great job of putting yourself out there to give the rest of us ideas :o)

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  20. Great post!!

    I agree that fashion mistakes are good because you learn from them! That's how you learn what styles you like, and what styles look good on your body type, etc.

    I try to avoid mistakes, but you never know. That and everyone has their own opinion and style. Just because you think it's a mistake, doesn't mean others do too.

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  21. I always say that confidence is the best accessory. I take a lot of risks in my fashion (I live in South Dakota, so fashion itself can be a risk sometimes) so I always have to be prepared for weird looks or for someone to hate my outfit. I remember the first time I wore over the knee boots, I was being looked at like I was Julia Roberts walking straight out of Pretty Woman. But, over time, people came to love them. Same goes with the many pairs of colored skinny jeans I own. If you love it, rock it! Who cares what anyone else thinks?

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  22. YES to your last sentence. :-)

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  23. I love the colors in that one, but it's the fit I don't love. I took that jacket back - wasn't nipped at the waist enough and with the big pants it's just too "heavy" in my book. :-)

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  24. Yes, I love that! Style is a journey, not a destination. :-)

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  25. Sara, it's the fit/proportion in almost every photo. The one you described is probably my favorite. Fit is fine, I just think I look like a flight attendant. ;-) 

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  26. I love your blog- it's stylish, achieve-able and affordable! I recently deleted a bunch of less-inspiring fashion blogs from my reader, but yours is one of the few I kept! Thanks for keeping it real!

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  27. *whew* so glad I made the cut! Thanks Tamara! :-)

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  28. Right back at cha Michelle! :-) 

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  29. Yes! This happens to me too. I am totally wrong half the time about whether or not you guys are going to like something. Some of my favorites, you hate. Some that I hate, are your favorites. To each their own, that's the beauty of art! :-)

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  30. Thank you Aubrey!! Unfortunately there are a lot of people who visit my blog and just don't understand it. I'm not the best stylist, I don't have fancy photos and they fail to miss the entire point of what I'm trying to do here! It's an experiment and the "fails" are half the fun. I'm so glad you enjoy it, b/c I certainly do! :-)

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  31. I definitely think mistakes are inevitable. And for a "rule" to be that you not make them is nearly impossible, plus it's discouraging to us bloggers who aren't those "top-tier" kind of bloggers who seem to have stylists & fashion's best at their fingertips.

    http://www.theprettyfactor.blogspot.com

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  32. I like making fashion fails because they show me what looks good on me and what doesn't!  You learn from your mistakes!

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  33. I second Nina - I like some of these "fails" (#3 & 4 in the first row, and #1(why is it a fail?!) & 2, 4 (I remember that you didn't like the fit of this blazer, but while  it is not perfect I think it is ok, not really a fail outfit) &6 (maybe without the scarf or with it but worn differently)... And also I preffer your down to earth outfits (read - wearable!) and down to earth brands (read - affordable!) and of course your friendly and communicative approach... and also willingness to answer our questions - I didn't see that in any other blog... So again - thank you, and keep up the good work! :)

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  34. Thank you Ana! This is why fashion is so subjective, lol! It's really just the fit and proportion on most of them Which #1 do you mean - the top or bottom row?

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  35. Some of these aren't nearly as bad as you think! But recognizing your growing and developing fashion eye is important and appreciated by this reader :)

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  36. Some of these outfits wouldn't be fails if they just had different shoe pairings! But seriously J, you always look fab :)

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  37. I love your enthusiasm, your self-deprecating humor, and your adventurist heart when it comes to fashion.  You could wear an outfit every day for a month that I wouldn't wear myself, and I still would come back...not that you ever have.  I pretty much would wear anything you wear. Keep on doing just what you're doing. 

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  38. The fact that you posted these (some do NOT seem like mistakes to me, by the way!) makes me like you even more. So many fashion bloggers are all-perfect-all-the-time, & it really grates on me. Kudos to you for being real!

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  39. Those pink pants are hot! I love that look, certainly not for the office but there is a lot more to life.

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  40. Style is subjective. It's an art. So don't be so hard on yourself. You are an inspiration to me and many others. Just because you don't get it exactly right sometimes (rarely), just makes you human and more approachable. BTW - I liked many of your 'mistakes'. And the outfits I didn't like did not keep me from checking your blog every day, regardless.

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  41. Eek, hope it didn't sound like I was being hard on myself! That was the exact opposite intent of this post - I'm celebrating that I'm not always perfect! I love it and think you guys should too. :-) 

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  42. Thank you Kelly!! :-)

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  43. Yesss! Sometimes I cringe at pictures of old outfits. But it was fun nonetheless!

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  44. I love this post J!  And, I find you very inspirational because you are willing to take risks and go outside of your comfort zone!  Your blog was one of the very first I started following!  You inspired me to start my own blog and I am so glad I did!  You are right about making fashion mistakes though, because even some of the best fashion designers get it wrong sometimes.  And, you think how could they design such a hideous collection?  But, they are "trying" out different things because they kind of have to, since that is their job.  What is hard though as a blogger, is that a lot of people are seriously coming to see outfit posts for some serious inspiration, and they have unrealistic expectations.  Most Fashion bloggers aren't professionals and maybe some people feel that they are and that is why they get mad when bloggers make mistakes?  That is what comes with the territory though, and a lot of fashion lovers want to see the very best.  Your blog is very realistic though, and that is what we love about your blog and why we come back.  I have worn belts a lot more this year, and have even bought a lime green cardigan, which is way out of my color comfort zone, so I gotta thank you for that one!!  And, I am still not sure that it goes with my skin coloring, but I still rock it!   LOL!  I love trying new trends at least twice a year, and even though sometimes my husband does not like what I am wearing, I still wear it with confidence and pride and go on with my day.  Confidence is everything in the fashion world.  Without it, an outfit can go wrong very quickly!  xx

    Pip

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  45. I love this comment Pip - "unrealistic expectations" is right on! I know you guys "get it", that's why you come here, but I can't tell you how many times I've heard "J is not that great of a stylist, why is her blog popular?" and they are totally. missing. the. point. The world has enough talented stylists, I know I want to hear from the regular folks about fashion, not fancy stylists, so I started a blog like that thinking other people might want that too! Thanks for your comment. :-)

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  46. I agree with you 100%. I am a firm believer in never regretting your mistakes -- Learn from them.  I think it's safe to say that rule can be applied to the fashion world too. :)

    Laura

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  47. I can agree about having a jacket that nips in. I have to hardest time finding one that doesn't look oversized.  I have that whole Stacy and Clinton What Not to Wear jargon in my brain when I look for them.

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  48. That kinda hit me as I was looking at that outfit earlier. Maybe if the scarf was around the waist it would have made it less flight attendant.

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  49. This is why I love your blog J!!! Yours is the first fashion blog I stumbled upon and I have always loved it and have read every post every day. I have come across some others since then, but it starts to get annoying seeing the same overly airbrushed pictures, frolicking in the woods and greenery, and putting a "model" face on looking sexy or cheeky - sorry not for me!

    You're real and your pics are real life and that is what us readers want to see! Because of this and your realness, I'll always keep coming back to you - if it ain't broke don't fix it so keep on doing what you're doing b/c it works!! :)

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  50. Amen sister! I agree mistakes are what help you figure out what you like and what works for you. And yes there will ALWAYS be someone there to make fun of you and bring you down. I recently posted a great article that speaks to this about gaining your own sense of style and saying screw it to what others think.. anyway good post!

    xx
    Julie
    http://lovecardelia.blogspot.com/

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  51. Making mistakes in life whether fashion related or not is a way to grown and learn.  Your blog is great because it's not all "high-fashion."  It's relatable to the average everyday woman out there.  We blog photos whether we feel that they are "blog worthy" or not because at least they are the real us.  Thanks for staying true to yourself, J!   Heather & Kayla

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  52. Shayla, I'm so glad I'm not alone on this - I recently vowed on Twitter to never use Photoshop on my photos (wouldn't know how to anyway) and the whole frolicking in a field just doesn't sit well with me. I'm not a model! Why would I try to act like one?! Lol. Thanks though, I'm so glad you like the blog.

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  53. Hi J--I'm new to your blog too, and I have to agree that your blog is by far the best! It's so easy to navigate and convenient to find things. I find inspiration from you every day. Yesterday I was home with my son who was sick, and spent the day reorganizing my closet! I'm a reached and I am always looking for new ways to style my outfits, and of course I'm a total shopaholic! I had to laugh at today's post because when I wear outfits I don't feel good in I usually take them straight to my consignment store! Now I can restyle them with your help! I'm so happy I found your site, keep up the amazing work! Before you know it you'll have a whole army of "J's"!!

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  54. Julie, is it the article on Chictopia? Just found it on your blog and I love it! Same kind of attitude I'm encouraging you guys to have here. Fearless! Wear what you love, ladies!

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  55. Thanks Elena! I like the pants but they are bit too snug on me so not the most flattering. That was a Blake LIvely look I tried to re-create and didn't go so well, lol!

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  56. Yay! Thank you! I'm so glad you like it and welcome to the blog! :-)

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  57. Amen, sister!  Love the message of this blog post.

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  58. This is so inspirational because Lord knows I have made probably more fashion mistakes than not... here's to always trying and having fun! Thanks J!

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  59. I agree with you---no one can learn if they don't make mistakes. I have posted outfits before that I now go back on cringe about..but that's part of the process of finding yourself and your style.  Life would be boring if everyone was perfect all the time.

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  60. Honestly, none of your fashion failures looks like a failure to me!! As somebody here also mentioned, yours is on of the very first fashion blogs that I started following, and since then I have loved you everyday!! I completely agree with you, we learn from our mistakes, but tell me frankly, how do you define a fashion mistake?? I think fashion is like technology, it changes by the day!! What is a fashion mistake today may be the hottest fashion trend tomorrow!!

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  61. I love that you asked this - what does make something a fashion mistake?! I think the fact that they are so hard (impossible) to define is a good enough argument that you should wear whatever you want. :-) 

    For me, a fashion mistake is probably something I am not proud of when I look back on it. And not b/c styles have changed, but I realized after the fact that the fit was off, the colors were off, something just isn't "right" to me when I look at it again!

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  62. I think that fashion mistakes are a must as well. I know that I have grown in finding my own style through both mistakes and successes.I liked some of your "fails" as well. :) 

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  63. Great post!! And I think some of the 'mistakes' are cute! But I agree with what you said about making mistakes to learn!!

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  64.  whats wrong with the pink blazer and jeans? I think that outfit is cute!

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  65. I love this post, and I love how down to earth you are and that you present options and clothes that anyone - and not just the wealthy - can imitate. Everyone makes fashion mistakes. I occasionally go to work and wonder an hour later why in the world I put the clothing items together that I did that day. It's days like that that I can hardly wait to get home and take off my *awful* outfit. LOL
    As for your pictures above, I have to say that I actually really like 2, 4, and 6 on the bottom row.

    health4lifekc.blogspot.com

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  66. I love the colors of that outfit, the fit is just not great! Jacket has zero shape (I returned it) and with the flared pants it's too much volume, in my opinion anyway. If you like it, then no harm at all if you wanted to wear it! ;-)

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  67. I totally agree! I had found a lot of inspiration on outfits through your blog and of course I try to add a new twist to it or something to make it "my own". Of course it doesn't always work...but you never know until you try!

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  68. I completely agree. You are such a doll and so down to earth.  You have real style that is wearable and aren't buying such expensive clothes that barely anyone can afford!  I just love your blog!

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  69. I had realistic expectation and I had trouble finding a fashion blog as yours. I love your blog because in this time of crises, you show us how to give a second chance to our closet. I am from Romania and I read your post every day and find it very inspirational, many of your outfits (similar, I don't copy you) was admired at my work place. Keep going with your good work!

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  70. I totally totally agree with you.. Style is a personal thing and everyone likes different things and so its different for everybody.. What may look good on someone else may not work for me or vice-versa.. That's why I particularly detest the anonymous commentors who say they are pros in their field and keep giving their so called feedback but don't wanna give an identity to their comments.... If I am making a mistake that is my issue not theirs and there is a way to put it across... I wish I could send them the link to this post! :)

    You rock it as usual! Real is the deal here :)

    xoxoxo
    Ritcha
    http://ritchastyle.blogspot.com

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  71. I was referring to the looks you thought were failures when it comes to being hard on yourself. I really enjoyed this post and have decided to take more risks as a result of it. Thanks for being who you are.

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  72. :-) I like to poke fun at myself, and really try not to take fashion too seriously. Thank you Darlene!

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  73. This is such a wonderful post and is a true example of one of the reasons I love your blog. When I first entered the blog world I felt the same way about any time I posted a picture of me-- I felt like I had to love it, but the truth is, not every picture is great and that is ok! It's real life and I think that's more important. I think fashion mistakes happen too. There are times when the outfit just doesn't quite come together and though it can be frustrating, sometimes in the process you find an even better combo!

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  74. If you love fashion you are gonna make some mistakes!  I have made a ton.  What fun is it to play it safe all the time!

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  75. Exactly!!! Ditto to everything you just said - and now I love you even more - not in a creepy way ;) lol!

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  76. I love love love this post! This is exactly what I'm trying to do. To me the whole point of blogging about fashion is to make mistakes. Otherwise, we'd never get better! Blogging is an experiment for me too. I'm enjoying watching the results of your experiment!
    http://work-it-blog.blogspot.com/ 

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  77. I agree with you 100%. And it goes for everything else in life that is challenging (especially for us perfectionists). If you don't try and push yourself to your limits, then you can't ever improve your style - or skills in anything! Your blog is inspirational. And, really, you're so beautiful that even a wacky outfit looks good on you! :)

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  78. OK what I meant to say was I'm a teacher - darn auto correct! So I love that you give style advice based on accessible clothing-stores where we can afford to frequent. I also love that you can style outfits in a classic way, but still incorporate the trends! There, now I'm done ;)

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  79. OK what I meant to say was I'm a teacher - darn auto correct! So I love that you give style advice based on accessible clothing-stores where we can afford to frequent. I also love that you can style outfits in a classic way, but still incorporate the trends! There, now I'm done ;)

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  80. Another "essential message" here, J., is possibly one of The Best, Strongest, and Optimistic Fashion Messages, i.e., that............ #1)
    It's okay to NOT always get it right fashion-wise, but to INDEED HAVE
    some outfit fail/failure days;  and............ #2)  When you do have an OUTFIT
    fail/failure day, you're always-always-*a.l.w.a.y.s.*,
    however............ still "good enough" as a PERSON, you know!!

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  81. Very true!! I like how you put it....If you think something is off about the outfit you can call it a fashion mistake!!

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  82. ohh i don't know J a few of those are actually pretty good. like the third one to the left at the top and the bottom line, those a really good everyday and work look (respectively). the first to the left on the bottom line is not too bad too for a lazy sunday at the cafe shop with a stop at the park. but the pink pants gray tank? yeaaa.. that's one hell of a mistake, the one to it's left is too.

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  83. Both of those were looks posted as "fails" the first time I posted them. ;-) Not all of these were though!

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  84. i love this post.  in all honesty is made me slightly tear up.  i think this is good LIFE advice, not just fashion advice.  thank you for the reminder! xo

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  85. Thank you Stephanie! This was a pretty passionate post for me. I'm a perfectionist at heart and am learning to wear those mistakes proudly (in fashion and life) is something I'm working on everyday! :-)

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  86. Thank you Stephanie! This was a pretty passionate post for me. I'm a perfectionist at heart and am learning to wear those mistakes proudly (in fashion and life) is something I'm working on everyday! :-)

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  87. Perfectly placed Julia Childs reference aside, I loved the humility in this post.  Funny and disarming, I appreciated the candor and the entertaining photo montage; it's basically a recap of my work-outfit highlight reel.  Please keep sending outfit inspiration - the good, the aspiration worthy and the eye-brow-raising - to every day girls like me.

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  88. Aww, thank you! :-) Glad you enjoyed it. 

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  89. I dont mind most of these.  I would say the oddly fitting gray pants and camel skit choices would be the only questionable ones.  but what are your issues with the others?  what does this say about my syle then.... hmmmm

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  90. I think all it says about your style is that it is different than mine. :-) No harm there!

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  91. Love your take on "fashion fails".  I've always been safe in my dress trying to avoid the fashion fail, but I see now that without failure there's no growth.  Thank you so much!!!!!!!!

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  92. I love the pink shorts/black polka dot combo!

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  93. I'm wearing one today! :) Looked good this morning! Ahhh well. Live and learn.

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